Blackest Hearts
by Transformette
Summary: Light Yagami. Perfect student, perfect son, perfect brother. To her it seemed obvious that there must be more to him than just that; but investigating wasn't a safe game at all. And she didn't know the rules to it. Light can't trust himself anymore; can he trust this girl? Reviews appreciated.
1. Chapter 1

**-I have decided to enter Light Yagami's mind-**

_**God help me ;)**_

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><p><strong>Welcome to my tiny patch of cyberspace. <strong>

**Let me give DN fanfiction a try. **

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><p>Light Yagami opened his eyes underwater.<p>

The glow of the sun passed through the cold, grey liquid in beautiful beams, which in turn broke up into hundreds of colours that played on the skin of his hand. He held it out before him.

How very frustrating. He couldn't observe the beauty of the underwater world any longer; his lungs were begging for air.

A god himself, but he could be so easily killed. He sometimes forgot his own weaknesses. Foolish.

He lifted his head above the water, shaking it out of his long brown hair. His lungs relaxed, as he took a deep breath, and ran his hands over his face.

Time of rest was over. He pushed himself off the wall and swam quickly, perfectly, to the opposite wall. His young body took it easily, and he trained for a while longer before pulling himself out of the swimming pool. When he did, the sun was slowly setting.

It lit the room orange.

He walked to the changing room, running his fingers through his hair. After all - he had duties.

Duties not including studying for school.

He sat down on the bench and wiped his face with the white towel; his bag was ready, the black notebook hidden inside. He couldn't risk leaving it at home. Not at a time like this.

Just when he thought he was ready, and started walking down the corridor, he realized a presence.

'Hey! Um... Sir!', he heard a female voice, low and pleasant, but young. Seventeen, sixteen? His age. He looked over his shoulder, and saw a girl.

His eyes widened in terror upon realizing in her pale hand was the Death Note.

'You... You dropped this.', she said, passing it to him. He had to remain calm...

'Thank you very much.', he smiled at her politely, bowing his head. He took the notebook. Everything was going to be fine, as long as she didn't see Ryuk...

'It's okay. Cool name.', she tried a smile as well, showing straight white teeth.

He could now study her further. Brown, curly hair with a red stripe and large green eyes, something uncommon in Japan. It seemed like he recognized her...

'Thanks.', he nodded and turned on his heel.

'Um... Do I know you? You're Light... Light Yagami, aren't you?'

'Yes.', he turned again, a bit surprised. _Damn her!_ He couldn't be associated with the notebook. _Oh, stupid, stupid, stupid!_ 'I'm sorry, but I don't think we've met.'

'Oh! I'm from the opposite class.', she gestured, like she was pointing at it. 'Never mind. See you in school!'

In a blink of an eye, she was gone.

'But I didn't catch your... Name.', he sighed to himself, then realized he'd said that out loud.

There was one answer.

She had to be killed.

_No._

He couldn't kill her! She was innocent. And he didn't have her name anyway, so it remained impossible. But he could deal with that at school, like she said herself. Keeping a stone face, he left the swimming pool.

_She could change everything._

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><p>His thoughts drifted away from the girl soon enough; he sat down behind his desk and glanced shortly at his books. Ryuk flew in through the nearest wall. His form passed through it in a ghost-like manner, his face lit up from below. It made it look even more terrifying - but Light was used to him, and his looks had stopped scaring him a long time ago. Did they ever actually scare him anyway?<p>

'Got any apples?', asked the shinigami, hopping onto Light's bed and putting his hands under his head. It completely ruined the effect of his dramatic entry.

'No. I'm sorry, Ryuk.', replied Light without looking up, his voice quite impassive.

'You don't seem very worried. I'm addicted to apples, you know? _Addicted._ I can't work properly without them!', exclaimed the god of death, throwing his long, skinny arms in the air.

'Maybe you should get a detox.', muttered the boy, clenching his jaw. 'Anyway, Ryuk, tell me something'

'Hmmm?'

Ryuk stopped whining immediately, interested.

'Did anyone see you on your way here?', asked Light, turning to look to him.

The shinigami rubbed his chin in thought, its red eyes wandering over the ceiling.

'Well, no, I think not. Why? Is there a problem?'

'A girl touched the Death Note.', said Light with a quiet sigh. 'I don't know her name yet, but she can see you. You should remain alert'

'Oooh. So what, you gonna write her name in the Death Note as well? Kill her off? Murderize?', Ryuk tilted his head like a parrot, hopping up to him.

'Don't mock me, shinigami. She poses a threat to Kira, and she must be eliminated.', said Light coldly, looking Ryuk in the eyes. It was quite hard, given that each of them was turned a different way.

Ryuk puckered his blue lips.

'I thought you were '_justice_'?', he said, bending two fingers of each hand to emphasize his irony.

'I am! Be silent! For now, you will stay inside. She has brown hair, green eyes and she's about a foot shorter than me.', instructed Light sternly, gesturing with his pen. 'She cannot see you!'

Ryuk rolled his eyes and sat up, then started flying around the room in boredom. Light knew the shinigami despised boredom, and if he didn't get him an apple quick, he could do something unwise.

Light stood up and trotted to the kitchen, before that closing the door carefully.

'Sayu, do we have any apples left?', asked the boy in a normal, innocent tone, looking at his younger sister. She switched the tv off.

'Sure! In the cupboard.', she replied with a shrug, standing up and walking over to it.

'Throw me two, will you?', he nodded at her, glancing upstairs worriedly. She obeyed, and closed the cupboard again, with a loud slam. 'Thank you, Sayu.'

'No problem.', she shrugged again. 'Hey, um, could you help me with maths later on?', her little face twisted in a frown.

_That's it_, thought Light to himself, _keep up the good big brother image._ Even though he wasn't really in the position to help her right now, he nodded with a smile. His alias was crucial to his cause - the more he helped Sayu and listened to his mother, the less of a suspect he became in the eyes of L.

'Of course. But I have to study for a while first', he said, and walked back to his room.

He threw the shinigami an apple, taking the other for himself. He had a lot to do; and even more to think about.

_Tomorrow_, he promised himself,_ I will find out all I need about that girl. _

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><p><em>The human whose name is written in this note shall die. <em>

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><p><strong>There we go, chapter 1 is finished! Please follow, favourite and review! I really appreciate reviews. I have quite a bit of this story written out, and I will be posting it soon. Thank you very much for your attention! <strong>

**REVIEW! :3**

**Transformette**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again! Dear Guest, funny bunny and FireWolfAbianvi - thank you for your reviews. Thank you very much for following, too! Here's chapter two. **

**At this point, I should probably warn you****_ not to _****_trust_**** your senses and intuition.****_ They will mislead you._**

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><p>'Light! Are you up yet?'<p>

'I'm up.'

He had been for two hours. He didn't sleep much these days, thinking intensively for most of the night.

Ryuk was gone, but Light hoped the shinigami would be careful enough not to show. Perhaps he was in a different country? Light never wandered much about what Ryuk did when he wasn't floating by his side.

He walked to school, his hair quickly became moist with the morning rain. Better than a shower. He had to find that girl, and find her quite quickly. His worries from the night before had returned. He was still having unsaid doubts as to whether killing her would be uncalled for.

_Can I take one more risk?_

The first lesson was Math, and it passed quickly. During the break he went looking for the mysterious girl, but she was nowhere to be seen. Second came English, a class he almost liked; when the teacher asked him to read a few sentences that where written on the board, he stood up obediently.

'And I shall pass through the woodlands, watching the evening sun's glow to gleaming...'

'Sir!', a hand flew up, and with it, a girl his age. She had brown hair with a red stripe, but he couldn't see her face. 'Sir... I'm sorry, but I think there's a mistake there.', she had a perfect, natural British accent. He looked at her in surprise, then at the board.

'Indeed! Thank you, miss Sakurai!', the teacher clapped his hands, walking up to the board and correcting the mistake. Light fixed his eyes on the girl. It was sure she wasn't Japanese, her English was too good. And the teacher looked insecure in her presence... As if he knew she was _better_. Light gritted his teeth. Correcting a mistake he hadn't managed to catch out!

'I'm sorry for my rudeness, sir.', she glanced over her shoulder and their eyes met. Yes, it was her, the girl from the pool. He watched as she sat down and put one leg over the other. There was some unexplained grace to her movements.

'Light, you can sit down now.', chuckled one of the other boys and only then did he realise he was still standing. He immediately sat, and wrote the sentence in his notebook.

'Kirito', he turned to that same boy, his voice little over a whisper, 'do you know who she is?'

The blonde guy shrugged.

'Nah! The teacher called her miss Sakurai, but I don't know her name'

_Dammit._

'Thanks anyway.', Light nodded and returned to his studies.

'Hey... Miss Sakurai!', he stopped her after the lesson ended. Her friends started giggling amongst themselves, and walked on, trotting in small steps. Light noticed the mysterious girl didn't have that characteristic walking style.

'Yeah? Oh, hi, Light.', she raised a hand in a welcoming gesture, turning around to face him.

'Hi... Uh, I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I didn't catch your name.', he said, tilting his head. He had a smile on his face, but inside, he was stressed out.

'Oh! Right, we haven't really been introduced.', she laughed, and put a hand forward bravely. 'I'm Lou Sakurai.'

His heart started pounding excitedly, he could hear it in his ears.

'It's a pleasure. Listen, I couldn't help but notice, your English is perfect.', he shook her hand. She had a firm grip, so did he.

_Lou Sakurai!_ He had the name. Inside, he was laughing, triumphant. If he wanted to kill her, he could do it. He was safe. Kira was safe.

'Thank you! You're pretty good yourself', she nodded, looking embarrassed. _Pretty good_, he scoffed in his mind, _pretty good!_'It's actually because I'm from Britain.', she added, shrugging.

'Oh, that's a relief.', he smiled jokingly.

'Don't feel threatened. I've heard your skills are unparalleled.', she smiled politely, tilting her head in a playful way.

_Unparalleled?_

His thoughts drifted to L. He was definitely a good opponent for him. The world's greatest detective...

He smiled back at Lou.

'Anyway, nice talking to you!', she bowed her head shortly and trotted away, clutching her books.

Lou Sakurai. He sent a predatory smile after her.

But now that she was at his mercy... Was it right to kill her? He bit his lip. Ryuk could stay clear of her, and she could live peacefully. But she associated the Death Note with him, and that was a risk too great.

He decided that Lou Sakurai had to die.

Lessons passed quickly, and he spent most of them staring at the window and dreaming of a perfect world. When the sun started to set, about four p.m., he walked out of the school building. He could see Lou chatting with her friends by the road, and his eyes rested on her for a while longer than necessary.

She would be dead_ that very evening_, Light decided. He couldn't wait. He walked down the stairs and found himself just a meter or two away from her. he could see her friends slowly clearing away.

He followed her to the road. She didn't see him.

However, what he saw next shocked him completely.

Lou was crying. Tears were streaming down her face, and her shoulders were shaking. Just minutes ago, she'd been laughing and making jokes! Suprised, he took another fast step towards her.

She walked onto the street, a truck nearing her quickly.

Lou looked at the truck; she still had a second left to get out of the way, but she didn't. He opened his mouth, and, before he even knew what he was doing - jumped.

He pushed her onto the ground and fell onto her, his hands hurt by the sharp pebbles of the sidewalk on both sides of her head. Her green eyes were wide with fear, she seemed to have stopped breathing - he pulled his face away from hers, surprised by what he'd just done. For a few seconds, he couldn't hear properly, shock ringing in his ears. The driver started sounding the horn, far louder than necessary, and kicked the brakes - the truck stopped with a loud screech, blocking the road sideways.

'Miss Sakurai? Lou?', Light asked, remembering himself. She wasn't even blinking.

'I...', she opened her mouth and fainted, dropping helplessly onto the sidewalk.

'Someone help!', he called, knowing other students couldn't be far away.

But he couldn't forget the look in her eyes when that truck was coming at her. She wanted to die. She was at peace.

Other teens his age started gathering; he lifted himself off her.

'She was- - -', he tried explaining, like any scared teenager would, but on the inside he was already running an analysis of what had just happened. His cold, calculating mind didn't quite understand yet, and it was annoying.

'We saw.', someone nodded, pudding a hand on his shoulder. Light looked up. It was a man, middle-aged, his hair grey on both sides of his head. 'Good job, son. You saved her life.'

'She's waking up!', called someone.

'Th-th...'

'What's she saying?'

'Thank you, Light Yagami...'

Kira's eyes narrowed.

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><p><em>This note will not take effect unless the writer has the person's face in their mind when writing hisher name. Therefore, people sharing the same name will not be affected._

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><p><strong>Thank you for reading, and please review! :)<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three...**

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><p>Light dropped his rucksack by his desk angrily and collapsed into his chair.<p>

'Someone's in a bad mood.', said Ryuk, tilting his head to the side.

'I saved that girl's life!', snorted Light angrily, shaking his head. _'Damn!'_

Ryuk snorted, trying not to laugh.

'And that is of course a terrible, terrible thing. What girl's?', he questioned, sitting down on the boy's bed.

'Her name is Lou Sakurai.'

'Oooooh. So you can kill her now?', Ryuk looked excited, far more than anyone sane would be. But then, he was a god of death.

'Well, no! Two accidents in one evening? Please.', Light rolled his eyes. 'The balance of probability is close to zero.'

'Do you have many choices?', shrugged Ryuk. 'And by the way, Light! Are you sure you want to kill her... And not perhaps... I don't know... Call her? You've been acting funny'

'What are you talking about?', Light rolled his eyes with a groan, leaning his head back.

'Oh, nothing, nothing.', Ryuk smiled knowingly.

'Good. I'll write her name tomorrow. On second thought...', Light rubbed his chin. _She wanted to die_, he thought, _so it probably must've shown before. It wouldn't therefore come as a surprise if Lou were to kill herself._

Brilliant!, he congratulated himself aloud, and opened the Death Note.

'Oh? A change of heart?', giggled Ryuk, waving his legs as he sat on the edge of the desk.

Light didn't listen. He clenched his jaw. He had to kill her. He HAD to.

He wrote the name slowly, with sweat running down his face, a terrible struggle going on within him.

_There._

He looked in horror at what he'd just done; but it had to be so. She posed a threat to his crusade. He sat back in his chair, breathing heavily.

'Well, too late for guessing now.', sighed Ryuk. 'Who knows. Maybe she could have been a nice girl'

'Shut up.', Light hid his face in his hands.

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><p>He had bags under his eyes when he went to school the next day. He'd never felt guilty before, not like this. Lou seemed to be screaming in his head. He dropped into his seat heavily, not eager to read out the English sentences.<p>

He'd killed people who weren't criminals. He tried explaining to himself, he'd killed Lou to protect Kira, because Kira was guarantee for the safety of the new world. He couldn't take risks like that.

_But still._

He stared at his hands, and in his head, he could see blood dripping from them.

'Sir... May I read the next exercise?'

Light's head flew up.

_God!_

There she was, unharmed, her hand stretched out above her head, her wavy brown hair falling down her back. His eyes widened.

_Impossible._

'Of course, miss Sakurai.', nodded the teacher, going through his notes. Then, he looked up. 'And also, are you okay? I heard about your accident. And Light Yagami's heroic intervention', he nodded at Light this time.

This wasn't as bad as it could be. Light smiled to himself. He was now going to be a hero.

'It's what anyone would've done.', he said humbly.

'Yes. But you're the one who did it.', the teacher smiled at him. Light smiled back, and then noticed Lou's eyes on him.

'I don't think I ever thanked you properly.', said Lou, looking at her hands, as they stood in the corridor. He was still wondering how the Death Note had failed. But did he want it to work in the first place?

'You're welcome.', he nodded. 'But... Tell me, Lou, why didn't you run?', he asked before he could stop himself.

'What are you talking about?', she asked, perfectly naturally. The lie was close to untraceable, but he could see signs that showed the truth. She was a very skilled liar all the same. 'It was too late. Never mind, Light...', she laughed falsely. 'Thank you. You saved my life.', she uncertainly took a step forwards and kissed his cheek, putting one hand to his face. Her touch was like silk, and he closed his eyes. When she trotted away, he found himself holding his face like an idiot.

He walked into the toilet one lesson later, and saw Ruyk on one of the basins.

'What are you doing here?', he hissed.

'I got bored.'

'You can't just come to my school! Don't you remember what I told you- - -'

Suddenly, they were interrupted by a high-pitched scream. In a split second, Light turned around and put a hand over the girl's mouth, at the same time shutting the door with his free hand. It was Lou - she was breathing hard, staring at Ryuk with her eyes wide open.

'What are you doing in the men's room, eh?', asked the shinigami, putting his hands on his hips.

'I must've got confused...', she mumbled. Then, she looked at Light. 'Um... Aren't you going to introduce us?', she seemed to be be regaining control over herself, but was still breathing hard and her eyes were wide open.

Light's lips parted. Ryuk started laughing, rocking backwards and forwards on his basin.

'Ooooh, Lou Sakurai isn't her real name at all...', he giggled, wiping a tear from his eye. Light's brow furrowed.

'What's your name, Lou? Real name!', he said sternly, ignroing her demand.

'It's Lou Sakurai, for God's sake!', she called. 'Light Yagami, explain this to me now!'

She was a very, very good liar. But Light had proof. She would've been dead by now if she _was_ Lou Sakurai. Her name was obviously fake.

'Not until you tell me your real name.', he shook his head, looking her straight in the eyes. She narrowed them.

'No, no, _no_. I told you, Lou is my real name! Tell me who, or what, is this creature?!', she pointed. Light sighed, irritated.

'This is Ryuk! He is a shinigami.', he explained half-heartedly, gesturing with this hand.

'A shinigami? Isn't that... But...', she stumbled on the words.

'It's no big deal.', said Ryuk with a shrug.

She turned to Light, and motioned with her head, as if thinking hard.

'What are you going to do with me?', she asked.

'Nothing.'

Ryuk gave Light a surprised glance. The boy's voice sounded honest, and it just didn't fit.

'Whadaya mean, nothing?', she rolled her eyes. 'Not take my soul or anything?'

'No. Listen, for now, I'm going to leave you with this information.', he put his hands on her shoulders. 'If you tell anyone about this, I will kill you with my bare hands. Understand? I'll talk to you soon.'

She nodded, and gulped.

'Ekhem, excuse me, Mister Yagami, but the men's room is no place for such things.', said a female voice, and they both turned to see a teacher. She'd just opened the door. She must've looked at his hands on her shoulders and their faces close together; he moved away immediately, and saw Lou blush uncontrollably.

'It's not- - -', whispered the girl, but he interrupted her.

'Of course. We're sorry. I'll see you later, miss Sakurai.', he bowed his head.

'Why can't she see him?', whispered Lou barely audibly, pulling him up by the tie.

'I don't know.', he lied, and looked her in the eyes. '_Goodbye,_ miss Sakurai.', he said sternly.

'Fine.', she held her nose up high and walked out of the toilet, stepping in that European way.

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><p><em>If the cause of death is written within the next 40 seconds of writing the person's name, it will happen.<em>

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><p><strong>review please? :3<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you so much for twenty readers! Ily :) I guess I'll be posting fanarts and stuff... because I'm an artist y'know ;)**

**Anyway, here's chapter four, enjoy!**

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><p>'Well, aren't you a screwed little mortal', chuckled Ryuk, as they walked home after school. Light closed his eyes, trying to ignore the shinigami. 'I mean... You can't kill her - you don't know her real name, obviously. And she knows about me and about you possessing a notebook entitled 'Death Note'... Which is pretty bad.'<p>

'Using smart words doesn't make you smart.', said Light, glaring at him.

'Oh, your mood's gone from bad to worse!', giggled the shinigami.

'Does everything amuse you? I'm going against a very powerful enemy, who has the entire police force behind him! Ryuk, focus! Can't you just tell me her name?', he sighed finally, dropping his shoulders.

'No. But the eye deal is still on the table.', he raised a finger, smiling mischievously.

'No! I will not sacrifice half my lifetime to learn her name.'

'Some boys would, I bet.'

Light gave him a stern look.

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><p>Lou put her phone to her ear and smiled at the familiar voice.<p>

'Hi! Guess what.'

She had thought about giving L the information regarding Light. But then, his abilities were unknown to her, and she couldn't be killed without passing on what she'd learned. Ironic. Only a day before that it had been her wish to die.

And then _he_ saved her life.

She was still curious about that. Why did he do it, if a day later he threatened to kill her? Was he bluffing? She didn't know. She sighed, walking over to her laptop, still holding the phone to her ear.

'Well, Light Yagami saved my life.', she said nonchalantly.

There was a long pause on the other side.

'Light Yagami? Soichiro Yagami's son?'

'I think so.', she shrugged. 'Why?'

'My dear Lavender, I'm extremely sorry, but I have to go.', said L, in his usual emotionless tone.

'What? But Lawliet...'

'Don't use my name. Lavender Robins, I have business to attend to. I will call you back.'

'Okay.', she sighed. She wasn't in the mood to talk to him for long anyway. He hung up, and she threw the phone at her bed. Then, she started typing on her laptop keyboard, her nails drumming against the black plastic.

She had known Lawliet for a long, long time. He was her good friend, but she never considered herself part of his work. The shinigami and Light were her business, and her business only.

But as she read on through the pages, it slowly came to her, that Light was far more dangerous than it seemed. The polite, all-too-perfect boy she'd met at the pool was most definitely a mask.

She clenched her jaw; she had to know. Just when she was about to leave, her mother called from the living room in English.

'Lou! Lou, get down here!'

There was only one human on this world that Lavender Robins was afraid of. And that was her own mother. To anyone else it might seem ridiculous - but believe me, to Lavender, it wasn't something to laugh about.

'Coming.', she trotted down the steps and into the living room. The TV was on, her mum was watching the news.

'23 new Kira killings reported...', said a male voice from the speakers.

'Look. He's cleansing the world.', said her mother, nodding at the screen. Lou clenched her jaw even harder.

'Mhm.', she said.

'He's far better than the police. Efficient, fast, deadly. A force of justice we need.', continued her mother, watching the screen with empty eyes. Lou new that look. The woman was a fanatic, and it scared her. Lavender respected her parent, but still thought herself more intelligent and slightly wiser. She understood moral values, and TV wasn't the only thing that concerned her.

'Mum, I'm going out.', she said, walking to the door quickly. The more time she spent outside, the better she felt.

'Where? When will you be back? Who are you seeing?', she finally turned to face her. Lou rolled her eyes boldly.

'For a walk, ma. Just a walk'

She closed the door behind herself and went down the street, pushing her hands into her pockets. She knew she had to talk to Light Yagami, but then, she realised she had no idea where he lived. She blushed, embarrassed by her own stupidity.

_A thought!_

'Watari?', she held the phone between her ear and shoulder. 'It's me, Lou. Um... Do you happen to know where the Yagami family live?'

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><p>'Mommy, mommy, there's someone at the door!'<p>

'I'm coming, Sayu.', sighed the woman, holding her back as she walked up to the door. She opened it and saw a girl with brown hair and green eyes. She was smiling shyly.

'Hello! I am Lou Sakurai. May I talk to Light? We're doing an English project together.'

She was a perfect liar.

'Of course, come in! Light, it's for you!', called Mrs. Yagami, letting Lou in. The girl smiled wider, until dimples appeared in her cheeks.

Light walked down the stairs, a black pen in his hand. The tips of his fingers were stained with ink. He looked her up and down.

She was gorgeous, he had to admit it. Just when he did, he slapped himself in his mind. He was getting unfocused. First of all: how the hell did she find him?

But he couldn't ask that. He smiled politely.

'Oh, hi, miss Sakurai'

'I'm here about the... English project.', she looked him in the eyes.

'Sure. Mom, do you mind if we take a bowl of apples and go upstairs?', asked Light, remembering Ryuk.

His mother and Sayu were too busy chatting and giggling, discussing just how pretty the European girl was. Light and Lou walked up the stairs, and soon vanished in his room, ignoring the two excited females. He locked the door after them, and Lou felt slightly threatened.

'I did some reading on the shinigami.', she said, her smile vanishing immediately. 'And I decided our conversation couldn't wait.'

He studied her carefully. During the last day he'd asked a lot of students about her, and had gathered quite some information. There were useless facts, like her never having a boyfriend, and there were more interesting things; brilliant student, sharp, fast-thinking. Pleasant and kind, but deadly when angered. And her grades were sometimes high, sometimes low, as if school wasn't her top priority.

He didn't think her intellect matched his...

But she was_ quite_ close.

'What are you looking at?', she asked, crossing her arms on her chest to imitate self-assurance.

'You.', he replied, his eyes fixed on her.

The shinigami caught out a note he could make fun of.

'Wow!', Ryuk's excuse for eyebrows flew up to the line of his hair. 'Whoa, whoa!'

'What is the matter with you, seriously?', Lou turned to look at him.

'Huh, look who's talking! You were screaming of fear only hours ago!', he pointed a finger at her accusingly.

'Do I look like I'm screaming of fear now?', she asked coldly.

Light was liking the girl more and more.

'Stop it. Both of you.', he said, crossing his arms on his chest, his brow furrowed.

Ryuk and Lou looked at him.

'Explain... Please.', the girl's lower lip trembled.

He nodded reassuringly.

'Take a seat.', he said, and watched her sit down on his bed. He took the chair in front of her. 'Lou. Do you know what the shinigami are?'

'Gods of death.', shrugged Lou, trying to sound normal.

'Yes.', maybe if he got her to trust him, she'd tell him her name. It was a risky strategy, but it was at least a strategy. 'Now, each shinigami owns something called a Death Note.'

'Your notebook...'

'Exactly. I want you to know that I have been writing names in that notebook.', he looked her straight in the eyes. 'I'm Kira.'

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><p><em>If the cause of death is not specified, the person will simply die of a heart attack.<em>


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello there. Chap 5, right? Sorry it's a bit late. **

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><p>Lou's reaction was slow. At first, her eyes widened, as she repeated what he'd just said in her head. Then, she jumped up from his bed, her mouth open in shock.<p>

'You can't be!'

The great killer her friend L was after. The mass murderer, threatening not only Japan, but the world, doing so from his own bedroom! A seventeen-year-old student! Her thoughts were rushing, and he watched her calmly. His mask was gone completely, replaced by a proud face with a dangerous smile playing on his lips.

The door opened.

'I was thinking you might like some cake.', said Mrs. Yagami, two plates with chocolate cake in her hands. Light imagined Sayu sitting in the kitchen with her whole face smudged with chocolate by now.

'Look at how nice she is.', said Ryuk, walking up to the woman and blowing on the back of her neck. Her brow furrowed. Light gave Ryuk a warning glare.

Mrs. Yagami left the room.

'Don't touch her.', growled Light, looking Ryuk in the eyes.

'Look at you, all scared.', giggled the shinigami, 'relax, I got nothing against her.'

Lou felt uncomfortable. She sat down on Light's bed, and he joined her after a moment. He put his cake on the desk, but she wasn't going to bother. She stuck her silver fork into the cake.

'Light?', she tilted his head. 'Aren't you afraid your... _enemies_ will hurt her?'

'Lou.', he gave her a condescending look. 'My father is Soichiro Yagami! He's in the police force. The threat is close to zero, the only one they want to hurt is me.', he said with a smirk.

'Well, that's lucky. But why are you telling me this? You can't kill me, you would've done so already...', she raised her eyebrows, breathing out. It wasn't that she wasn't shocked. However spending time with Lawliet made her immune to shocking news.

'You're using an alias.', he looked her in the eyes. Those beautiful, green eyes... _What the hell?, _he slapped himself in his mind.

'And you need one's real name, yes?'

'Exactly.'

Ryuk tilted his head.

'Light... Whatcha doing?'

The boy ignored him, still focused on Lou. She stuck the fork in her mouth, and closed her eyes with a '_mmm_' escaping her lips.

'Oh, this is delicious.', she muttered.

Light's eyebrows went up. The easy way she switched between the Kira case and his mother's home-made cake was amazing.

'Lou.', he got her attention again. 'I am telling you this... Because I can see potential in you.', he said. Ryuk made a funny face, but Light continued: 'You're special. I want you to know about _what_ Kira is.'

'Tell me.', she nodded, her voice quiet.

'It's an ideal. Like the Architect. The killings burden my mind with pain and suffering, they tear my soul apart... I'm not sure I have a soul anymore.', he shook his head. 'No one would admit that it's what has to be done. But I took it upon myself. And I will continue, until the world is pure.'

'And what then?'

'Then I will guard that new world, as superior justice.', his eyes glistened, filled with passion and emotion. Lou could see he had actually opened. To her.

'I... I see.', she whispered, lowering her eyes.

Light breathed out, sitting back. His heart was pounding loudly in his chest, banging against his ribs like a caged bird.

'I will give you time. You can be part of this.', he put a hand on hers. 'You can have my trust.'

Lou's lower lip trembled. She was scared, and it was a new feeling. The only person to ever awake fear in her was her mother, but outside of home, Lou could be herself. That gave her courage. Though sometimes shy, she new very well what direction she was going in.

'Okay.', she said, her insides twisting. 'Goodbye, Light Yagami.', she stood up, putting down the empty plate. He stood up as well, somehow charmed by her. Ryuk bit into an apple.

'Goodbye, Lou Sakurai.', he nodded, walking her down the stairs and to the door.

* * *

><p>Lou ran home, terrified. She had just met Kira in person, and the notebook she had held was the weapon used to murder all these people. She figured out that only the people who touch the notebook could see Ryuk, and that's why only her and Light were in that group.<p>

She kept walking, and realised she had reached a different place than intended. It was a tall building, a hotel, probably, with darkened glass on the outside. It reflected the sun and city lights. She looked up.

What was she doing here? It was where L was staying. The Grande.

It wasn't safe. She gulped.

She could _tell_ him. She could tell L that Light Yagami was Kira. It would be so easy.

But what would happen next? Light would be executed. Did she want that? In his eyes, she could see the ideals behind him were not evil. She knew that he had gone down a dark path... And he hadn't let anyone follow. Except for her. Perhaps his strange behaviour was caused just by that - perhaps he needed someone to pull him back.

She couldn't let him be executed.

The punishment of death was something completely evil to her, since she'd grown up in Britain, where it was forbidden. She sighed, closing her eyes.

Then, she turned on her heel. She wanted a chance with him herself.

* * *

><p>'What the hell do you think you're doing, huh?', snapped Ryuk, crossing his arms on his chest.<p>

'She won't tell a soul.', said Light. 'I saw through her immediately. She's a martyr.'

'What do you mean?', asked the shinigami, interest in his red eyes. He sat down on the desk.

'She would die for someone else, and she does all she can to help.'

'Then why does she want to die?'

That was indeed the question. Light rubbed his chin with a frown. He didn't know... And if she really wanted to be killed, she could've just given him her name. Did she change her mind?

After just talking to him, too...

* * *

><p>Light clenched his jaw, playing with the pen in his fingers. It had been two days... Two free days, during which he'd killed more and more criminals. He screwed his eyes shut, feeling his body shiver.<p>

'Light? You okay?', asked Ryuk uncertainly, watching the boy shudder uncontrollably.

'I'm... I'm fine...'

The Death Note was always accompanied by unbearable pain and suffering. Sweat came up on his forehead as he tried to push away the thoughts of all the families he'd left torn apart. With one hand, he reached for his large headphones, and pushed them on. He noticed his fingers trembling.

Music filled his head, and he felt better. Singing with the English lyrics, he walked around his room, relaxing slowly. He wiped his forehead.

He had a long list of targets in mind, and he was beginning to come up with ideas. Like... Could he control a person's actions before they died?

That way, he could talk to L.

The school books lay untouched on the desk. He didn't have to study, he'd learned it all three times already. He was quite sure he'd pass his tests perfectly.

And L... A great opponent. Light rubbed his chin.

* * *

><p><em>Until the valley of death<em>

_Closes above my head_

_Water filling my lungs,_

_As I try to break free_

_Water_

_Is crushing down on me!_

* * *

><p>His thoughts had drifted to the music, but quickly returned. He didn't know his face or name, so he was impossible to get to. What was worse, the detective knew Kira was helpless. And that was what angered Light most.<p>

He was going to find a way. He was going to create a new world!

* * *

><p><em>Pain! You cannot win<em>

_As you die in the staircase_

_Blood flowing quickly_

_In your mind's maze_

* * *

><p>Light frowned, throwing the headphones on his bed. Terrible music, terrible lyrics. He didn't know what that was doing on his playlist. He sighed and trotted out of his room, closing the door neatly behind him.<p>

* * *

><p><em>After writing the cause of death, details of the death should be written in the next 6 minutes and 40 seconds.<em>


	6. Chapter 6

**Heey I couldn't wait so I'm posting chapter 6 right now. Thirty readers :3 thanks so much guys. Ily. I really appreciate it and I know I'm not being very modest, but that's one of my favorite stories (of mine). And it's all thanks you you! Smiles ^_^**

* * *

><p>There was some kind of movement down below; he walked into the hall, and saw his father, who was pulling his coat on.<p>

'Hm, would you look at that?', Ryuk tilted his head, and something snapped in his neck.

'Dad? What's going on?', asked Light, spreading his hands. His mother and Sayu joined them as well, interested.

'They found a girl.', he said shortly.

'W-what girl?', asked Light's mother, shaking her head.

'The one which was in our house two days ago. Lou Sakurai.', said the man grimly, and Light's heart started pounding.

'What? Are you worried?', teased Ryuk, crossing his long, thin arms on his chest. Light ignored him.

'What happened?', he asked, addressing his father.

'Well... Her mother informed us she'd ran away, and minutes later, we received a call saying there was an insane girl near the Grande.'

One of the most prestigious hotels in the city. Light's brow furrowed.

'And?'

'Now she's writing our name over the walls. Yagami.', said the man darkly.

'Are you sure?'

This wasn't a calling for Soichiro Yagami. Light breathed out. Lou was begging him to come.

'Of course I'm sure.', replied Mr. Yagami, annoyed. Light nodded.

'Okay, then I'll come with you.', he announced, pulling his own white coat on. In a few minutes, they were both ready. Light's thoughts were reaching light speed. Why hadn't she said a word for two days, and now suddenly ended up with the police?

Ryuk followed him, babbling nonsense into his ear. Light didn't even attempt to imitate listening. They got into the car.

She was a terrible sight indeed. Her brown hair a mess, veins popped in her eyes, and tears streaming down her cheeks. She was leaning against the wall, on which there was the writing 'Yagami, help'. Light looked at the two guards.

'Let her out.', he demanded.

'Son! Don't forget your place', hissed his father, looking over his shoulder. Light fought the urge to bite back. No one could looked down at the modern god. No one.

But a disguise was a disguise.

'Lou! Are you okay?', he cried, putting his hand on the cold metal.

'I'm... I'm... Light, help me...', she whimpered quietly, putting an arm through between the bars, reaching out to him.

What was happening? He didn't understand. His brow furrowed.

'Lou.', he caught her attention.

'Please let me go.', she said quietly, and the guards opened the cell at Mr. Yagami's command.

Light clenched his jaw. He didn't understand. He had to talk to her in private, without cameras or microphones. She looked into his eyes, and he saw pain and fear. Something was very, very wrong.

'Lou's my friend.', he lied, still looking at her. 'I guarantee you, she is sane. All she needs is relaxation, not a prison cell. Dad, trust me', he glanced at his father.

Soichiro Yagami rubbed his chin.

'How can you be so sure?'

'I just am. Please, dad', Light swallowed, playing his part perfectly. 'She's scared. I can get her to talk...'

Suddenly, they were interrupted by loud footsteps. A middle-aged woman wearing a long, brown jacket entered; she had brown hair, exactly the same colour as Lou's. Light recognised her to be the girl's mother.

'Lou! Lou, they called me. Are you alright?', asked the woman, walking up to the cell - but she didn't kneel like Light did.

'I'm... I'm okay... Shi-shini-', she whimpered, looking at Light.

_Shinigami._ There was a shinigami after her? Light opened his mouth, but he didn't need to speak - his father did it for him.

'You must be Mrs. Sakurai. I am Soichiro Yagami', he shook her hand. 'This is my son, Light. He says your daughter needs rest, and I agree with him - our house is nearby. Would you...?'

'Thank you, but I'm sure we'll be fine- - -'

'No! No, please, mummy... Let's just go to Mr. Yagami's house', begged the girl.

'Very well.', agreed the woman after a second.

* * *

><p>'What happened?', asked Light, as soon as the door of his room closed. His face was stern; the mask had been removed. Lou straightened up on his bed.<p>

'Where's Ryuk?', she asked, also calming down visibly. She had a blanket around her shoulders.

'Why?', Light tilted his head, a bit surprised by her question.

'Just tell me...', she bit her lip. Light's brow furrowed.

'Outside, I think, in the street.'

She walked up to the window, and opened it. Leaning out, she summoned the shinigami with a quiet call, looking cautiously around. The street was empty.

Ryuk joined them in the small, faintly-lit room. He didn't look very thrilled, but brightened up at the sight of Lou. She was looking better already; colours returned to her face as she drank the hot citrus tea. Light's mum really seemed to like her. Lou was quite loveable, but slightly nosy and ironic. Light breathed out, sitting down in his chair.

'Why don't you explain?', he gestured with his hand, and in that moment, he looked like a movie villain.

'A shinigami... A shinigami tried to kill me', she said, closing her eyes. 'It was terrible'

'Why would a shinigami want you dead?', asked Light calmly. He was calculating in his mind, but the puzzle pieces just didn't seem to fit together.

Ryuk snorted.

'Mortals. Always missing the obvious', he said, rolling his red eyes. Light felt irritation bubble up in him.

'What obvious?', he asked, trying to keep his tone calm.

'Shinigami have hundreds of motives. He coulda been bored, he coulda wanted some fun. Or maybe he just wanted to take her years away', Ryuk shrugged, spreading his arms.

'But that hardly seems likely, doesn't it?', Light rubbed his upper lip, looking down. His brow furrowed. 'If he wanted to kill her, he could've just done so with his Death Note. So, he obviously didn't have a Death Note'

'... And wanted to kill her because he thought she had it. Smart. Well, not of him, of course, but your thinking is good', said Ryuk, prodding Light's shoulder with his claw-like finger.

'What happens now?', asked Lou. 'Will he go after me again?', she bit her lip.

'Nah, unlikely. Killing a human without using the Death Note is extreme level crime.', explained Ryuk. 'And _almost_ killing a human without using a Death Note is probably a level 8. He'll be punished alright'

Light's brow furrowed.

'Shinigami idiocy never ceases to amuse me', he muttered. 'No offence, Ryuk. But my point is, Lou is innocent, and she could've been killed'

Ryuk looked at the boy, thinking intensively. The wheels in his head turned slowly, creaking like an un-oiled door.

Light wanted to kill that girl. Wasn't that his plan? Winning her trust to learn her real name and end her life? Maybe he was just a good actor.

Lou closed her eyes.

'Oh, my. Why does this happen to me?', she sighed, shaking her head. 'Light... You take all my luck away.'

'Sorry.', he said, without the hint of emotion.

'Lou! Lou, we're going home!', called her mother from down below. The girl's eyes widened.

'No. No. I'm okay!', she looked at Light, he didn't show any feeling. He just stared at her blankly. 'I'm okay... Light, I'm scared. I really am. I don't want to...'

'You'll be fine.', he said, and she pulled herself together. She stood up.

'Thank you. And, Light... I accept.', she added.

'Can we establish a signal? Or something to summon each other when we need to talk or are in trouble. Something you'd obey without questions.', he locked his brown eyes with hers, green, and almost sunk in them.

'Alright. Mince pies?', she shrugged, tilting her head. How British of her.

'Will do', he nodded, a bit irritated with the idiocy.

She walked out the door.

* * *

><p><em>The note shall become the property of the human world, once it touches the ground of (arrives in) the human world.<em>


	7. Chapter 7

Light sat in front of his desk, studying the blank pages of the Death Note. He stared at them.

He'd killed Raye Penber, and Naomi Misora, not so long ago, and he'd continued to kill criminals since then. The problem of the night before - Lou Sakurai - was still bothering him. This girl had more to do with the whole affair than she knew herself...

He breathed out, closing his eyes.

'What the matter with you, Light? Girl on your mind?', asked Ryuk teasingly, walking about the room. Light looked at him.

'Yes, in fact', he replied shamelessly.

'What happens today? You have a test in biology, you know', the shinigami hopped onto the desk, trying to get his attention.

Light looked up at him.

'W-what?'

'Well, yeah. It's in your calendar.'

The boy's eyes widened. How did he miss that? It was next to impossible! He sprang up, rubbing his face. He looked at the mirror - there were bags under his eyes, his pupils were dilated. He studied each detail of his own face carefully, realising that he'd missed something painfully obvious. He was really starting to look like one of the students who prepared for their exams day and night.

Only, he wasn't preparing for exams.

He looked at the clock, and clenched his jaw. It was too late. He was late. He, Light Yagami, perfect student, was late.

He ran to school, Ryuk floating after him with a grin on his face. It only annoyed the boy more, and gave him more energy to speed to school. His muscles felt tired.

He stormed into the English class, quietly apologizing to the teacher in English. He put his rucksack next to his desk, and sat down, leaning his chin on his joined hands.

'Light, you don't look so good', the teacher's brow furrowed. The boy forced his face expression normal. 'Late night?'

'Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.', muttered the boy, staring at his desk.

When he looked up again, he saw Lou's eyes on him. The girl was worried; the rings under her eyes were disguised with makeup, but poorly. Someone noticed how tired they both were, and in a few minutes, everyone was babbling.

Light fought the compulsion to say something nasty.

_Keep up the disguise._

* * *

><p><em>'<em>Light? Light, hi', Lou caught up with him, squeezing her books. 'Are you okay?'

'I'm fine.', he muttered.

'Did you know that's one of the most popular lies in the world?', she raised her eyebrows, stopping. He stopped as well.

He looked her in the eyes, and leaned in.

'Listen. I've been working very hard. Thinking hard. Your case, the criminals...', he spoke in a voice so quiet it was barely audible. She nodded, biting her lip.

'It looks... supsicious.', she hinted in a whisper. 'I can lend you my makeup kit.', she smiled lightly, and he felt his lips curve in a smile as well. Funny, he didn't think he'd as much as change his facial expression during the day.

'No, thank you, I think I'll survive', he joked falsely. 'I'll talk to you later?', he gave her a meaningful look, and she could see his normal eyes. Cold, but honest, she couldn't explain it. They seemed secretive, but she knew that secret.

She scoffed her herself in her thoughts. She couldn't just let her mind wander over topics such as Light Yagami's eyes.

'Yes. You want me to come over?', she gulped, hiding her excitement. She was scared, too, after all... she was spending time and trusting, in a way, the most dangerous serial killer in the history of the world.

She would just, casually come over to Kira's place and eat his mother's home-made chocolate cake.

* * *

><p>The test in biology started soon and Light was exhausted. He didn't know anything. His pen traced the paper slowly, as he tried to focus - but his headache had gotten worse.<p>

'You're in the sleepless stadium.', said Ryuk, floating over him as he tried to guess the names of endorphins. 'You'll go insane after a week if you don't do something about it. Not that I'd worry, mind you, but I'd be bored without you around.'

Light sighed, closing his eyes. He couldn't answer. He was in a class full of students. But that didn't stop Ryuk from babbling all the same; it only got Light more unfocused.

'How'd it go?', asked Kirito.

'Terrible.', muttered Light, brushing past him and pulling his bag onto his shoulder. He didn't feel like talking to anyone. Everything was going bad; and lack of sleep was an issue.

He walked back home, and forced a smiled onto his lips. Walking to his room, he noticed that indicators had been triggered; someone had been, or still was, in his room. His mind brightened up.

But the piece of paper had been put back into place.

Peculiar. Light looked around - everything seemed in order, but he didn't trust that illusion.

'What's wrong? Light?', Ryuk put his hands on his hips, tilting his head.

The boy ignored, and pulled his phone out, sitting down on his desk.

'What are you doing? Are you stalking that poor girl?'

Giving her a chance, thought Light, pressing the green headphone.

She answered after four or five signals, and when she did, she seemed out of breath, as if she'd run home.

'Yes?'

'Hi, Lou! It's me', he said with a false broad smile. 'Uh, I was thinking... Would you like to meet me at the restaurant? You said you missed mince pies', he said, using the code they had established earlier.

'I...', she was out of breath for a moment. 'Sure. In fifteen?'

'Yes. Thanks, Lou', he nodded like she could see him.

'What's wrong? Talk to me, Yagami!', snapped Ryuk, more and more irritated. Light gritted his teeth, but didn't answer. Instead, he walked out again, waving at his mother, and trotted to the restaurant.

'Someone's been in my room.', he said finally, glancing at Ryuk. 'They could've left microphones and, or, cameras. I couldn't talk to you there, sorry.', he added, looking ahead.

'Oh... Okay.', the shinigami tsk'd, shrugging. 'But why did you call the poor girl?'

'So that I could explain this to her, and let her know that she can't come to my room just like that.', he replied. 'And also... This isn't good news. The police could be monitoring- - - oh, whatever. You'll hear it when I talk to Lou.'

He reached the restaurant after a short walk, and noticed the girl through the window. She saw him too. Light walked inside, and sat down in front of her, putting his elbows on the table.

'What is it?', she asked, raising her eyebrows.

'I suspect that the police force put cameras in my room.', he said, lowering his voice slightly. 'I'm not sure I can find a way to write names in the Death Note.'

Lou cocked an eyebrow, leaning back.

'Well don't expect me to do it, I ain't writing nothing in there.', she frowned.

'I know. I wouldn't trust you with the Death Note. You know my name, and I don't know yours.', his eyes narrowed.

'I have a reason to hide it.', she hissed.

He felt like biting back, but realised Ryuk was gone. He looked around, surprised, and called quietly. Lou straightened up as well.

'Is something the matter?', asked a waitress, walking up to them. Her eyes were fixed on Light.

'No, thank you. It's just that...'

'- - -Our dog's disappeared.', finished Lou, getting the girl's attention for the first time. 'But, it's okay now, I can see him right there. Come on', she grabbed Light's hand, pulling him away from the table and out of the restaurant. He noticed she seemed a bit off.

'Are you alright?', he asked, raising his chin.

'I'm fine. Just internally screaming.', she rolled her eyes, and pulled him by the hand. Ryuk was under the wall of a building, munching on an apple casually.

'Well, you two got together quickly', he said, nodding.

'What are you talking about?', Light's brow furrowed, but then he felt Lou let his hand go. She blushed a bit.

'Where the hell were you?', she asked the shinigami. 'Huh?'

'Getting an apple. For goodness' sake.', he snorted.

'About that, Ryuk. You can't eat apples anymore', Light crossed his arms on his chest. 'Not in my room. For all we know, there could be over fifty cameras. Unless you find them all... Well, no apples for you', he raised his eyebrows.

'W-w-what?', Ryuk's red ping pong ball eyes got wider and even bigger.

'There might be a blind spot somewhere', added Lou, joining her hands. 'It's impossible to make an amount of cameras big enough to cover the whole room without being noticed.'

'Look at that, the girl's smart.', Ryuk brightened up. 'I'm on my way.', he added with a smirk and flew in the direction of the house.

Lou and Light looked at each other.

'Good thinking.', said the boy.

'Thanks.', she nodded. 'Listen, Light...'

She looked at her feet. She didn't want him to kill people, but she knew he could be saved. She just felt it. And she couldn't let him go.

'Yes?', he raised his eyebrows.

She breathed out.

'I can visit you to make you look less suspicious. I'm sure you'll find a way to... To, you know.', she closed her eyes.

'I will. I'm sure of it.', he replied sternly. 'Goodbye, Lou Sakurai.', he leaned down and after a second's hesitation, kissed her cheek, but stayed down a little longer to whisper in her ear. He told her a bit more about the plan he'd come up with to hide the killings.

She nodded.

'Bye, Light Yagami.', she sighed, waving and trotting away.

* * *

><p><em>The owner of the note can recognize the image and voice of the original owner, i.e. a god of death.<em>

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry I'm late...<strong>

**Plzzz review guys? **


	8. Chapter 8

'You have feelings for her.'

Ryuk was using the fact Light couldn't reply.

_Nonsense. Feelings are useless, she knows that as well as I do. _

'No, really. I'm not sayin' it's mad love or whatever, but if you were to kill her, you'd flinch.', Ryuk shrugged.

'Apples.', Light clenched his jaw.

'What?', Ryuk's head flew up.

'I could do with some apples.', he sighed to himself and stood up from his desk, walking out the door. The shinigami opened his mouth in terror. Light was going to torture him! Hell, why did he have to open his mouth at all?

The boy returned, carrying a beautiful, large, juicy red apple, polished so much that it gleamed. Ryuk started making strange noises. The boy slowly raised the fruit to his lips, and bit into it, walking back to his desk with a triumphant smile. The shinigami didn't talk about Lou Sakurai again... That day.

* * *

><p>'Did you find a way?', asked the girl as soon as they met at school.<p>

'Yeah.', he nodded, sitting down by his desk, while she took her place on it. She was wearing long jeans and a dark turtleneck, and although other girls wore short skirts and cut out blouses, his focus was on her.

'Naomi Misora.', she glanced at him. 'That was Kira... Wasn't it?'

'Yes.', he nodded, running his fingers through his hair.

'The police are on track.', she bit her lip, very unsure about the way she should put her sentences together.

'I know. But he is intelligent, I'm afraid the police are defenseless', Light looked her in the eyes, and she fought the urge to blink.

'Like hell, they're not! Kira will be executed by the end of the month!', said Kirito, and the two jumped at the same time in surprise.

Light's fist clenched, but Lou put her hand on his shoulder.

'Stop it.', she snapped quietly, glaring at him. 'Don't even_ think_ about it.'

'Who are you to command me?', he glared back, getting up from his seat. 'You have no right.'

'And you have no right to kill innocents.', she hissed. 'Listen, I know why you're allowing me to hang around. Admit it or not, but alone, you will go insane. I'm not letting that happen.', she whispered, her eyes stern. 'And if you don't want it either, then I suggest you trust me.'

'I trust you.', he sat down again, clenching his jaw.

'Good.', her voice turned softer, she slipped off his desk. 'I'll come round today evening. Okay?'

'Very well.', he nodded, closing his eyes. She sat down in her chair a row away, and opened her notebook.

'Well, students, your English teacher is absent today, so I'll be watching you.', said the Biology teacher, walking in with a thick briefcase in his hands. 'Now, you had a test a while ago, I've checked all the copies...'

Light closed his eyes and rubbed his temples, cursing in his head. _Perfect. Just perfect._ He felt like kicking something.

'Lou Sakurai, class three! Mark B! Kirito Kashi, class one, mark C!'

Light rolled his eyes.

'Light Yagami.', the teacher's voice got a bit quieter. 'Class one, mark F.'

Hell. It wasn't that Light was surprised - but all the other kids were. Lou glanced at him in shock - she had been just as exhausted that day, and she only scored a mark lower than usual. The boy collapsed onto his desk, breathing out. This was such an embarrassment... But one F couldn't change his final grades anyway, he knew they would be straight As. He swallowed, hiding his face in his arms, trying to ignore the curious looks he recieved from Kirito and the others.

When the lesson ended, he got up and walked to Lou, his bag on his shoulder - about a meter away from her desk, the teacher stepped in his way.

'Light? Can I talk to you?', he asked in a calm voice.

'Yes, sir. Of course', Light replied politely, though he was flaming with anger inside.

'What happened? You've never had such a rapid drop', the teacher spread his arms.

'Bad day, I guess.', Light tried a smile. 'I'll do my best and work harder in the future, sir.'

'I hope so. Listen, if you're having problems at home... I can talk to the school psychologist.', the teacher looked actually worried.

'No, no, I'm sure that won't be necessary.', Light forced a wider smile on. 'Thank you, but I have to meet someone'

'Of course.', the teacher looked at the doorway, and saw Lou waiting there, with her books pressed against her chest. The man's eyebrows went up. 'Well... Lou Sakurai. Maybe you will be okay after all.'

He was about to leave, but Light stopped him.

'What do you mean by that?', he asked. 'Sir?'

'She's one of the most positive and helpful kids I've ever met.', laughed the teacher, and walked away, vanishing between some students. Light's brow furrowed.

Lou Sakurai wanted to _die_ only a while ago.

'Light, come on.', she called, rolling her green eyes.

'Uh-uh.'

* * *

><p>Light swallowed, walking in through the front door.<p>

'Is she coming today? She's coming today, right?', squealed Sayu, jumping up and down. He cocked an eyebrow.

'Who?'

'Lou!'

_Jesus Christ. _

Light sighed, pushing the little girl back by putting a hand on her face. He passed her, ignoring her squealing, and walked straight to the kitchen.

'Hi, mum.', he said, dropping his bag on the floor with a loud thump.

'Could you take out the trash, please?', she called, looking over her shoulder. She was making dinner, the smell was in the air. He felt a bit hungry.

'What a pain.', he groaned theatrically, not sure whether he wasn't overplaying his part.

'Is Lou coming over?', added Mrs. Yagami after a second.

Light felt like killing somebody.

'Yes. She is. If that's not an issue. I'm writing an English project with her.', he said, walking out with the black plastic bag. When he returned, Sayu was watching something with Hideki Ryuga. Light sat down by the table, tapping his fingers on the wood.

'I got an F in Biology.', he said after a moment.

'Oh? What happened?', asked Sayu over her shoulder.

'I got an F in Biology.', he repeated, narrowing his eyes at her.

'Someone's touchy today.', his mother put her rug down and walked up to him. 'Don't worry, Light. I know you're stressed, the entry exams are soon', she patted him on the shoulder.

_And I have the world's greatest detective hunting for me. _

'Thanks.', he nodded.

_Yes, the exams will be over soon, and killing criminals won't be so hard anymore_. He closed his eyes, focusing on that matter entirely. After a moment, he couldn't even smell the dinner, or hear the TV. Just silence, and the genius of his plan growing.

Lou visited soon and they talked for about three hours, sitting, then laying on his bed. She had a notebook in her hands, and she actually helped him with his English - she had a lovely accent, and listening to her was a pleasure in itself. Finally, tired, she dropped the notebook, letting it fall on her face - Light smiled a bit, for the first time in a while naturally, and lifted it off.

He'd just spent three hours like a normal teenager - maybe it was only a show for L and the police, but it gave them both time to think.

* * *

><p><em>The human who uses the notebook can neither go to Heaven nor Hell.<em>

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><p><strong>yes, I know I'm late, I'm so sorry :( please review! <strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**hello**

* * *

><p>Suddenly, Lou felt her phone vibrate - she picked it up.<p>

'What is it?', asked Light. She'd got a text.

_What the hell do you think you're doing? _

_- L._

Her eyes widened, and she texted back.

_What do you mean? I'm at Light Yagami's. _

'Lou?', he sat up, cocking an eyebrow.

'It's my mum. I have to go', she said. 'I hope the project works out', she added, meaning more than just that.

_I know. _

Lou's heart started beating twice as fast. With shaking hands, she wrote.

_I don't understand. _

She let Light lead her to the front door, and open it for her. She trotted out into the street, staring at the small screen of her phone.

_I'm thinking Light Yagami is Kira. _

Oh, no. L was further in the investigation than she had suspected. And now... Now she had to lie to both of them.

_That's impossible. I know Light quite well._

_Are you sure?_

Lie to her best friend? Lawliet was almost family, and...

_I'm sure. Light is a good person. _

_Okay. I trust you, Lavender. _

Lou closed her eyes for a second, then broke into a run. She got home in minutes, panting, and slammed the door behind her. Her mother was by the kitchen table, and Lou passed her without a word. This game was getting more and more dangerous every second. Her name... Her REAL name... If Light found out that tiny detail, she'd be dead.

She wasn't going to fool herself. Light was a killer.

There was a knock on the door and she ran down again, angry.

'What?', she almost yelled, opening it suddenly - a tall man tumbled in. He was dressed in a white shirt and jeans, with untied trainers on his feet - his black hair a complete mess, bags under his eyes.

'I'm worried about you.', he said in his usual monotonous tone, one finger near his lips.

'Oh... My... God...', Lou took a step back.

'Not quite.', he tilted his head.

'Lawliet! What are you... Christ!', she wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

'Don't use my name. Call me Hideki Ryuga.', he demanded, putting his hands on her back and gently hugging her as well.

'I missed you.', she said, guilt overflowing her. 'I missed you really bad.'

'I missed you as well, Lavender.', he smiled a tiny bit.

'But... You never come unless you have a serious reason. Right?', her eyebrows drew close together, she bit her lip.

'I wanted to show you the Task Force.', he said simply. 'Show you why I think Light Yagami is Kira.'

Her jaw dropped.

She had pushed herself into the position of a double agent - and she didn't want that. She had no plan of contributing to either case! She just wanted to save the good man she knew was somewhere in Light. She desperately tried to fight the panic - she ran her fingers through her hair.

'Lawliet... Listen.', she said quietly. 'Light is my friend.', she lied. 'And I don't want to take part in anything like this. Okay? Continue with your investigation, but I already told you, Light is a good person.'

'Good people are capable of doing bad things. It all depends on the circumstances.', L put his hands in his pockets.

God, why is he so smart, thought Lou to herself.

'But I don't believe that. I'm sorry, but I have to go now. Okay? I have finals in a few days.', she bit her lip.

'Alright. I'll be there', he nodded and turned on his heel.

Lou couldn't believe she'd just pushed her best friend back like that. But something inside her told her, she was doing what had to be done. She had to save Light Yagami if it was the last thing she did... and that was getting more and more likely to turn out that way. She was playing a dangerous game and she was truly terrified.

* * *

><p>Days passed, and more criminals died. Light knew L and the police were working very hard... But he also knew they didn't stand a chance.<p>

When writing the entry exams, his gaze moved between two students - one was Lou, of course, and one was a mysterious and a bit eccentric man. He sat in his chair with his feet on the seat and his knees close to his chin - it didn't seem to bother anyone, but a teacher asked him to sit normally anyway.

Light was intrigued.

He didn't see much of Lou that day - and the day afterwards. She was probably stressed out, so he ignored her strange behaviour. When finally the results arrived, he found himself sitting next to that very same mysterious student. They had both scored perfectly. Light's curiosity was growing.

He had black, messy hair and bags under his eyes, but even so they glistened with intellect. Despite a rather shabby appearance, Light could sense there was more to him than met the eye.

'Light? Light Yagami.', said the strange genius quietly, glancing at him.

'Yes?', he looked at him as well.

'I've noticed several things about you, and I heard you want to join the police agency when you graduate.', he continued in that same, quiet, monotonous tone. 'I'm impressed by your strong sense of justice. I've also noticed you have an interest in the Kira case. If you promise to keep it secret, I may have information regarding it.'

Light swallowed. Was it safe to just ignore? This guy... Was definitely strange. And Ryuk wasn't saying anything. Which was never a good sign.

'I wanted to tell you that I'm L.', whispered the man, looking him straight in the eyes.

Impossible.

_Impossible._

Was it?

Light looked at him in shock, trying to mask what was going on inside of him. He didn't know how to react or what a normal teenager would say... so he kept quiet.

* * *

><p>He met with Lou an hour or so later - they were standing together outside when 'L' joined them. He had introduced himself as Hideki Ryuga, and that was the name everyone else used. However it couldn't be L's <em>real <em>name, because it was simply copied off a well-known celebrity. The disguise was so obvious it was almost painful.

Lou's eyes widened upon seeing both of them. What was L doing there?!

'Light... Hello.', Hideki bowed his head. 'And hello, Lou', he smiled at her lightly, making her heart pound. She looked at Light, terrified. This was all wrong, it could break that bit of trust he had in her, it could break everything...

'You know each other?', asked Light, shocked. Either Lou had been a spy all along- - - but no, he would be dead. And even if she wasn't L's agent, but knew him, could she be lying all along? What was the plan?

Questions, questions.

'Yes. We're good friends, actually.', L looked at her, she gulped.

'H-hello, Hideki...', she said quietly, nodding.

Light looked at them both, still shaken. He didn't understand, and he wasn't enjoying it. He didn't speak to Lou again.

* * *

><p>'DAMMIT! HE GOT ME!', Light collapsed into his chair as soon as he got home. He didn't care that he and that man who called himself L both scored perfectly in their exams, he knew it would be so from the start. Education was painfully easy for him.<p>

Right now, he was shaking, holding his head in his hands. Everything was wrong.

'I don't have his name. And even if Hideki Ryuga is a real identity, then if I'm wrong, killing him, it's- - -it's announcing to the world that I'm Kira!', he screamed, glaring at Ryuk furiously.

'But, Light, the eye deal is still on the table- - -', Ryuk began, raising a finger.

'Are you even listening to me?! Even if I learn his real name, I won't know if it's really L! He could be a fake, and then what will happen? The real L will have me nailed!'

'...Sorry', Ryuk's eyes widened. Light was always so calm, and now... He was really taking it bad. And if it continued like this, if Light went insane under the pressure, then all would be over. Everything. And that meant no more fun for the shinigami.

'It's inconvenient! That's the flaw of the Death Note!', yelled the boy, gesturing frantically. Then, he hid his face in his hands again, silent.

There was only one thing the shinigami could think of.

'I'll talk to Lou.'

'No, Ryuk, wait...'

'Light. You're not looking good, okay? She can help you.'

'Ryuk! No!'

But he was already gone.

* * *

><p><em>If the time of death is written within 40 seconds after writing the cause of death as a heart attack, the time of death can be manipulated, and the time can go into effect within 40 seconds after writing the name.<em>


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello! So I'm here to explain a little something**

**I don't update much because I'm dealing with personal crap **

**Painful crap**

**Writing is my escape and sometimes I don't have inspiration for something. So yeah sorry, but... -.- **

* * *

><p>'I told you not to bring her here!', snapped Light, as soon as the two entered his room.<p>

'Calm down. Jesus, you're white as a sheet...', Lou trotted up to him, putting a hand forward, but he pushed it away.

'You shouldn't have come.', he glared angrily at the wall. Ryuk bit his blue lip uneasily, glancing between the two. Lou touched her elbow and lowered her eyes onto the ground.

'Yes, I should've. That's what I'm here for.', said the girl sternly, and Ryuk noticed a tear come down her cheek. Then she looked up with cold determination in her green eyes.

Light turned sharply in his chair.

'No! Why do I even listen to you?!', he yelled. 'Why did I ever think... You know L. You KNOW him! Why didn't you tell me? Why am I even alive, Lou?! If that name means anything to you', he growled, turning his back to her once more.

'Light, don't say that!', she cried, putting a hand on his shoulder. 'Yes, yes, I know Hideki! But I'm not part of anything planned by L, I swear. I haven't told anyone. Please believe me, Light...', her eyebrows drew close together in worry.

'You know what, I'm really glad I don't know your name, because I would kill you right away.', he growled in a low, hoarse voice, glaring at her.

She took a step back, shocked by the look in his eyes. It was so cold and evil, it wasn't the look he gave her normally. Normally his eyes were calm and intelligent. Sometimes slightly amused. He only ever truthfully smiled with his eyes.

'So you don't want to kill me...', she said uncertainly.

'Oh, it would be the best option for Kira right now.', he replied with a nasty note in his voice.

Her lower lip trembled. She couldn't breathe for a moment. Then, tears came up in her eyes and ran down her cheeks one by one, smudging her mascara.

'Fine!', she screamed. 'As you wish, Light! My name is Lavender Robins!', she spread her arms, tears streaming. 'Kill me! For all I care!', she yelled and ran out of his room, leaving the door open. He could hear her steps on the stairs, and his mother's surprised cries. But he didn't move. He couldn't flex a single muscle.

Ryuk also stood motionless for a second, before turning to face him.

'You're doomed.', he said nonchalantly, puckering his lips.

Light then sat down by the desk, and pulled his pen out of his pocket. He opened the drawer, picked up the Death Note. Opened it.

L... A... V... E...

'Light... What are you doing?', asked Ryuk uncertainly, glancing over his shoulder.

N... D... E... R...

'No. No. Light, she is the only one who can actually save you from insanity!', Ryuk got more and more nervous, scratching the back of his neck. 'Don't do it, or you will _seriously _be doomed! I'm not kidding!'

Light's hand trembled and he smudged the last letter across the paper.

Light shut his eyes, and closed the notebook. After a second he realised, two hot tears were running slowly down his cheeks, stinging them paifully. He wiped them away, ashamed.

He couldn't kill her.

'You're screwed.', sighed Ryuk.

'Leave me alone.', Light replied in a quie voice, staring at his hands.

'No, really. You should call her. I'd call her.', Ryuk cocked an eyebrow and tsk'd. 'Light, trust me.'

'I don't trust you.'

'Okay...', the shinigami sighed heavily, jumping onto the desk. 'I tried.'

* * *

><p>Three days passed, and the entire Yagami family seemed down. Light moved to campus, but somehow, he didn't feel like touching the Death Note. Three days of peace, not one dead criminal. The Task Force was shocked and afraid, they didn't have a single clue to what was happening. Light knew he had to get closer to the Kira investigation, closer to L himself - because now he was certain the man who introduced himself as Hideki Ryuga was indeed the world's greatest detective.<p>

But he couldn't do anything. For three days he was completely numb, unable to think. Damned girl. He was addicted to her, he needed her, her intellect and help. Damn! He was doing perfectly well before she came along...

Light was sitting on a bench when he saw him approach. He didn't feel like making conversation, but he had to keep his mask on - so he smiled and stood up, greeting L.

'Ryuga. Hello', he said, putting a hand forward. The raven-haired man shook it.

'Hello, Light.', he replied calmly. 'Would you like to join me for a game of tennis?'

_What._

Light held his jaw in place by power of will.

'Um... Of course.', he replied, shrugging lightly. 'Oh, and, Ryuga... Have you seen Lou?', he asked after a moment, biting his lip unsurely.

L looked surprised.

'No, I haven't seen her in two days.', he replied. 'Why do you ask? Is something wrong?'

'No, nothing's wrong. I just... Haven't seen much of her lately either.', shrugged Light, lowering his eyes onto the ground.

Was that... guilt?

'Maybe you hurt her... or something', said L impassively, putting his hands in his pockets.

* * *

><p>That night.<p>

* * *

><p><em>'Light.'<em>

_'Wha-What?', he opened his eyes, and saw a her face. She had green eyes... Poison green eyes... And she was so beautiful. He pulled up slowly, reaching to her cheek, and put a loose strand of hair behind her ear. 'I'm sorry, Lou. I'm so sorry.'_

_She lowered her lashes and pushed him down gently, back into the soft sheets. Her lips barely touched his, but he felt his insides flaming. He held her down, praying she'd never go again._

* * *

><p>Light opened his eyes. This time, for real. Just a dream... How did he know? Because he was alone.<p>

* * *

><p><em>The human who touches the Death Note can recognize the image and voice of its original owner, a god of death , even if the human is not the owner of the note.<em>

* * *

><p><strong>Here you go, this is chapter ten. Sorry if I upset you with that note at the top. And please let me know what you think! I'm better now and I'll try to update more often, kay? <strong>

**Kisses :D**

**One more thing: the title will be changed from Darkest Hearts to Blackest Hearts. I like it more that way. **

**TFette**


	11. Chapter 11

**Oh, God. I just watched Death Note's ending. God. **

* * *

><p>He sighed, feeling the stiffness of his muscles. That game of tennis was quite intense. Ryuga was definitely trying him out - and he didn't know whether he passed or failed.<p>

'You okay?', asked Ryuk.

'Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.', replied the boy, standing up and stretching his arms. He was angry with himself because of that dream. He really had to talk to Lou...

He sighed, pulling a shirt on. He said he wanted to take part in the Kira case, and all that was left to do was make sure Ryuga believed he wasn't Kira. And Light knew he didn't have time to waste.

'Lou! Lou, wait!', he called after her in the corridor.

'Get away from me.', she glared at him, walking faster and catching up with her friends. They stared at him, surprised - after all, which girl would actually ask _Light Yagami _to get away from her? He was the most popular guy in their little world.

In fact, he was also the most popular guy in the _whole _world.

'No. _Please_', Light forced the word through his lips, fighting with his pride.

She stopped.

'Babe? You okay?', asked one of the girls, raising her eyebrows. She had dark skin and fuzzy, black hair. Lou raised a hand and nodded, clutching her books tighter under her other arm.

'Yeah, yeah, I'm good.', she sighed. 'I'll catch up with you.'

They walked away with worried looks on their faces, and hid behind the nearest corner, watching them - but too far away to hear their conversation. Lou felt stupid, watched like that, but teenagers needed to talk about something. And Light didn't seem to care.

'You haven't killed me.', said Lou, looking him in the eyes. He took her by the shoulders and put her up against the wall, holding her firmly.

'When I said it would he best for Kira to have you dead... I didn't mean that it would be best for _me_.', he said quietly, answering her gaze sternly. He was dead serious.

'You ARE Kira, Light, I know that very well.', she blinked. 'I know _who_ you are, better than you know yourself.'

'Then you know that I trust you. And that I need you. Nothing is working out, L is after me.', he shook his head. 'Lav...'

'Sh.', she put a hand over his mouth. 'Don't.'

Then, she wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. He was a bit surprised at first, but held her. It was a relief.

* * *

><p>'Okay, how's the Kira case lookin'?', asked Lou, going through the files on his computer. He crossed his arms on his chest.<p>

'Quite well, actually.', he replied. 'I- - -'

Just then, his phone buzzed. His brow furrowed, as he put it to his ear.

'Yes?'

'Light Yagami?'

'Speaking.', he glanced at Lou. She hopped off his chair and walked up, putting her ear to the phone on the opposite side.

'I'm sorry to say this, but your father, Soichiro Yagami, just had a heart attack.'

* * *

><p>'Your father is stable', informed one of the nurses as soon as Light, Sayu, Mrs. Yagami and Lou reached the hospital. 'But it was quite close.'<p>

'Can I see him?', asked Light.

'He's resting. Don't evoke any strong emotions, please, it could be dangerous for his health.'

'Of course.', Light swallowed, playing the part perfectly. He walked into the room - the walls were painted a calming green, same colour as his dad's sheets. He lay pale, with needles stuck into his veins, and two straws up his nose.

'Light? Light, is that you?', he asked in a hoarse voice.

'Dad...', he walked up, truly unsure. Lou followed closely - something was strange about the boy. Something was different.

'Light.', sighed the man heavily.

'Dad, what happened?'

'All the stress... The Kira case...', the man shook his head. 'I'm sorry.'

'For what? Dad, you can't worry so much. I swear, I will hunt Kira down and make sure he is executed.', Light put a hand on his. 'I promise.'

Lou looked at the boy uncertainly, her lip taken in between her teeth.

He lied so easily... Could he be lying to her as well?

* * *

><p>Lou and Light sat together after they'd left the hospital. This time, they were in her room - something new, because her mother scarcely let her invite anyone over. It was painted white, clean and perfectly organised, with hundreds of books stuffed away on tall shelves. Light admired her collection - this girl wasn't smart just like that, she was also hard-working. He never really had to stress about studies, he was, after all, a genius.<p>

'What did you talk about with Hideki?', she asked, drawing his attention.

'I told him I wasn't Kira, and that he could lock me up for a month without television to check.', he sighed, not even noticing it sounded funny. 'It was a close shot, but it worked.'

'Good thing, that, or bye bye Kira.', frowned the girl, pulling her knees to her chest.

'That's not what I wanted to talk to you about', he tilted his head, and ran his fingers through his hair.

Lou raised her eyebrows.

'Oh? Then what's that?'

'Is your name really Lavender Robins?', he asked quietly.

It had been troubling him from the moment she spoke the two words. Did she really put her life in his hands? Did she _really _trust him like that? How? He was a killer, that was certain. Why was she doing all this? What was her motivation? Light was confused and amazed. He patiently waited for her answer.

'Yes.', she looked at her feet, playing with the silver cross hanging from her neck.

'Why did you tell me? Did you want to die?', he asked in a gentle voice, trying not to alarm her. Lou shrugged.

'Yes. No? I don't know. It's just that... With you I had some purpose, y'know?', she half-closed her eyes. 'A purpose...'

She had to save him. She had to do it, no matter what. Without him, she was useless.

'What purpose?', he asked, hiding his curiosity.

'Secret.', she stood up. 'Now get it together. You're going to meet the Task Force soon, and Hideki Ryuga will test you. And you better make your way into their little elite, Light.', she pointed a finger at him.

Light breathed out. Lou was back.

'Perfect', he smiled.

* * *

><p><em>The person in possession of the Death Note is possessed by a god of death , its original owner, until they die.<em>

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><p><strong>please review folks, thanks for reading ;) <strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**hello!**

* * *

><p>Lou lay in her bed with her eyes closed, but she couldn't sleep. She didn't know if she'd ever sleep again. She felt so many things - guilt, fear, excitement, pity.<p>

A shadow appeared above her; she opened her eyes, reaching for the Swiss Army knife by her bedside.

'Relax, it's just me', said Ryuk's familiar voice. 'Hello, Lou'

'Hi', she sighed, breathing out. The knife landed back on the table, while she sat up on the thick mattress.

'I wanted to talk to you, but I had to wait until Light was asleep', he scratched the back of his neck. 'Sorry.'

'Talk about...?', she cocked an eyebrow, crossing her legs.

'I can see you're a good person; why would you help someone like Kira?', he asked, sitting down next to her.

'I wouldn't expect you to understand', she teased, putting a strand of hair behind her ear proudly. Then, she laughed, and he laughed with her. 'Light was a good person once, too. I think I can still save him', she shrugged. 'Don't tell him. Please.'

'I won't. No reason. In truth, Lou... I'm... Kind of worried about him. Call me sentimental, hell, call me whatever you want', he rolled his red eyes. 'But I'm worried.'

'Me too. I can fix it. I'm sure I can', she put a hand on his shoulder - he was surprised, no one had ever done that before.

'Alright... Good luck', he saluted jokingly, and got up. 'See you around, Lou'

'Bye, Ryuk', she tried a smile, and got back under the sheets. He flew out through the window, and she closed her eyes. Her life was so screwed up.

* * *

><p>Lou watched as L and Light exchanged a few words. They sat together in a small restaurant, while she was hidden safely by the bar. L had shown light four recordings, and wanted to test his skills somehow... Lou watched with interest.<p>

Finally, Light walked away from the table and when he passed her, pushed a piece of paper into her hand. She waited thirty seconds and opened it.

_Meet me on campus. Urgent._

Lou swallowed and hid her face when L passed her.

She quickly made her way back, hiding her head under her hood. Lately it had been getting increasingly dangerous. Light was playing it close, and she was beginning to see that was his style. He balanced between justice and homocide, on a thin line. She didn't know how much of the old Light was left inside.

The sky was turning crimson.

How long could they survive?

'Light... Light!', Lou put a hand forward and grabbed his shoulder, turning him around.

'Hello.', he nodded and looked her in the eyes. 'Your friend and I met earlier today, as you know.', he added, looking sideways. 'I'm going to join the Task Force, and I'm going to need your help.'

'Like that's new.', Lou rolled her eyes jokingly and put her hands in his pockets. 'Alright, what do you want me to do?'

A grin spread across his face. A dangerous grin. But, after a moment, it vanished.

'You're free to go.'

* * *

><p>Lou sat by the computer in Light's room, her lip taken between her teeth. She was drowning in homework. Light was at a meeting with the Task Force, while she had sat at home all day, without even watching tv or reading the newspaper. She heard the door slam downstairs and glanced up, surprised.<p>

'Light?!'

He stomped up the stairs and threw his jacket on the bed, his jaw clenched.

'There's a second Kira.', he said and passed her the file. She quickly scanned through it, reading all the details about the recordings they got from that 'wannabe' Kira. It seemed that the he didn't have Light's intellect or skills at all; Lou couldn't help but think of the wannabe as sloppy. Her brow furrowed as she read on.

She said it out loud.

'Yes, I agree.', Light nodded. 'But sloppy or not, he is dangerous. The Death Note is a powerful weapon. We're going to have to be very careful...'

He glanced at the girl. If she was killed...

No, no, he couldn't let that happen. Lou was good and innocent. She couldn't die. She was an angel.

'You have to stay in the shadows, Lou Sakurai.', he said sternly. 'You can't come here again, I need to hide you.'

'W-why?', she asked, surprised.

'You can't be killed, you're very useful.', he replied without as much as a blink. 'Go, Lou'

The girl bit her lip. He was expressing... Care.

'Light, don't worry. I'll be fine. No one knows my name anyway, remember?', she smiled. 'Relax. I can help you. Now...'

She sat on the desk, still holding the file.

'We're going to have to track this person down. The Task Force will be informative, please keep me updated. I'm guessing this person isn't very smart, so he's bound to make a mistake. He could let slip something about the shinigami or the Death Note itself, and that can't happen.', she put a finger to her lips.

'Ryuk, can you be of help?', Light glanced at the god of death.

The shinigami chewed his apple for a moment, then with his mouth full, replied.

'Nope, sorry.', he bit into it again. It was a gift from Lou. She always had a suppy of apples in her bag, and Ryuk was liking her more and more.

Light sighed, rubbing his temples. It was getting complicated. What a game indeed. A small smile played on his lips.

He put a hand forward and Lou laid hers on his, answering with a grin. He was lucky to have someone as bright as her, someone to pull him together. He felt safe... And wanted to keep her safe.

'You're my angel.', he said, still smiling lightly. Lou bit her lip.

_I will save you,_ she thought.

* * *

><p><em>If a human uses the note, a god of death usually appears in front of himher within 39 days after he/she uses the note._

* * *

><p><strong>awww you naughty fellows<strong>

**you won't review**

**no me gusta**


	13. Chapter 13

**hello!**

* * *

><p>The second Kira started stupidly revealing too much information.<p>

'I have to find him and either kill him or join him', growled Light, as he and Lou sat together on a bench in a completely quiet park. The sky was grey, it was going to rain soon. He was wearing his white coat, while Lou had a sweater and jeans; she had forgotten her hat, Light had called on her rather urgently.

'I agree. God, it would be so much easier if we knew who he was', Lou sighed, rubbing her forehead. 'Light, you have to offer to meet with him.'

'Are you sure?', his brow furrowed.

'Yes. It's the only way. But they probably won't let you go alone... Take that idiot Matsuda.', she nodded. He was, as promised, keeping her up to date about the Task Force. Together they gathered information on each of its members and Lou did a great job at finding more.

Light was amazed. She was getting the hang of the game.

'That was just what I was thinking.', he replied. 'Alright. Goodbye, Lou.'

He bowed his head. She did the same and pecked his cheek, putting her hands on his shoulders.

'I'll pay your sister a visit, alright? Spend the day with her', she offered, tilting her head.

Their trust was getting boundless. Light nodded.

'Of course, go ahead. She needs a little help anyway, and I'm not exactly the perfect older brother.'

'Yeah. Right. Okay', Lou nodded and trotted away, headed for his house. She felt raindrops on her face and in her hair, and a moment later she heard footsteps. Light was running after her.

She stopped, tilting her head in surprise.

'Hey, Lou! I'll be home soon. Take this.'

'You sound like we're married.', she laughed, but stopped when she saw he was holding out his white coat in his hand.

She took it with a thankful smile and put it around her shoulders, it was big enough. Light was getting taller, while she had stopped growing over two years ago. She had to look up to meet his eyes.

Light nodded and as soon as he turned away from her, his eyes were cold.

* * *

><p>'I can't believe you and Light aren't together.', Sayu smiled broadly, munching on her fitness bar.<p>

'We're just friends. We're both best in English class, so we help each other out.', Lou chuckled. Yeah, right.

'Sure. But you know... He could use a girlfriend. I think he's alone too much.'

And just then, the doorbell rang.

'I'll get it!', Sayu jumped to her feet and ran to the door. Lou's heart started pounding, time stopped. It was too early for Light to be home. Who could it be? _Oh God, if Light met with the second Kira and something went wrong, what then? _She felt her lower lip tremble.

_Stop it, you're turning into a paranoic. And besides, Lou, remember... _

The second Kira admired Light.

He wouldn't hurt him.

And anway, a moment, later, Lou breathed out with relief.

Sayu had opened the door, revealing a young girl. She was dressed in a short, gothic dress, and lacy tights. Her nails had black nail polish on them, she was wearing makeup. Her blonde hair was pinned into two ponytails. Even so, she was small and short, with an aura of innocence about her. Also, the gothic impression was ruined by her broad smile.

'Hi!', exclaimed the girl happily. 'Is Light home?', she asked, immediately, looking inside.

Lou's jaw dropped.

Light's mother ran to the door, passing her, not even noticing how shocked Lou was.

'He's not in right now, but who are you?', she asked in a chirpy voice. Lou felt something like jealousy sting her heart.

The blonde girl squealed happily.

'I'm Misa Amane! I'm Light's girlfriend!'

_Who the hell is that girl?,_ Lou wondered, crossing her arms on her chest.

'His girlfriend?', Sayu raised her eyebrows and looked at Lou.

She shrugged, pretending not to care at all. Pretending? Nah, of course she really didn't care.

'Please, come in. He'll be home shortly.', Mrs. Yagami smiled and pulled Misa inside.

'Oh, and who are you?', Misa glanced at Lou in surprise, noticing her for the first time.

She tapped her foot, already annoyed by the girl. Estimated IQ was minus. Lou knew that she was judging too fast, but something of the teenager she was awoke in her and she found she was jealous.

'I'm a girl... And I'm Light's friend.', she said through clenched teeth. 'He didn't tell me you were coming.'

Mrs. Yagami didn't notice the tension at all. She kept babbling and lead all three girls to the kitchen table, talking about completely random things.

Meanwhile, Lou was thinking fast.

* * *

><p>About ten minutes after this Light came home, soaked to the bone. He closed the door behind him, and Lou caught a glimpse of the pouring rain. She felt bad about taking his coat.<p>

'Hello, sorry I'm- - -'

'LIIIIGHT!'

Misa threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tighly, shocking him. Lou's jaw dropped, this time for real. She was screaming in her mind, begging whatever God above for answers. She had to know... and she saw that same confuse in Light's eyes.

'How about... We talk upstairs.', he swallowed a bit uneasily, but after a moment regained control over himself and cleared his throat.

The walk was proba

* * *

><p>bly the longest one in Lou's entire life. As soon as the door closed, all three stood together in a circle, looking at each other... except for Misa, who was staring at Light with absolute adoration.<p>

'Okay, who are you?', the young man looked down at her sternly, getting straight to the point.

'I'm the second Kira! I'm Misa Amane. You are my idol! You- - -'

'Okay, okay. Hold it', Lou put a hand on her shoulder.

Light rubbed his chin slowly, unsure.

'I... Understand you think I am... Kira?', he raised an eyebrow, looking down at her. Misa nodded eagerly.

'I _know_ it! I have the shinigami eyes and I can see you have used the Death Note!', she explained excitingly. 'You are Kira!'

Lou breathed out. Hell... This girl was... Unbelievable. How fast she uncovered the whole secret, it was scary. Just one simple factor proved him to be a serial killer. Just one look of those shinigami eyes of hers.

'Interesting.', said Light enigmatically. Lou stepped to his side.

They looked at each other and realised they were thinking the same. They were sure now. Misa was holding out her Death Note.

Lou and Light stared at it.

'Alright. I believe you.', said the young man and crossed his arms on his chest. 'What now?'

* * *

><p><em>Gods of death, the original owners of the Death Note, do not do, in principle, anything which will help or prevent the deaths in the note.<em>


	14. Chapter 14

**hello!**

* * *

><p>'I don't like it.', Lou looked at Light seriously when Misa left. 'I don't like it at all.'<p>

'She could be useful.', Light tilted his head. 'Listen, Lou... Misa seems to like me, I can take advantage of that. But she obviously doesn't like YOU, and that puts you in danger. If she finds out your name somehow, I don't know...', he closed his eyes. 'I'll talk to her alone. Be safe.'

The girl nodded and gave him a smile. It was fake. Everything was going wrong. Everything.

* * *

><p>'Lawliet...', she held the phone to her ear, trembling all over.<p>

'What's the matter, Lavender?', he asked, in a troubled tone. He was always worried about her. And she was always worried about him. He mattered so much...

'Please... I'm so sorry...', she whispered.

'Lavender?'

Lou closed her eyes tightly, more tears falling from her eyes as she sat under the wall in her bathroom, wrapped in a black blanket. She was cold.

'Tell me you're alright.'

'I'm fine, why...'

'Okay. Then everything's alright. Be safe.', she hung up and put the phone down, closing her eyes once more. There were so many people she had to protect from each other... And she was terrified. She didn't want anyone to die. But Kira and L were fighting and she stood between them.

* * *

><p>Misa's shinigami was called Rem. She was a female, or at least passed for one - and she seemed to have a funny relationship with Ryuk.<p>

More time went by and Misa, Lou and Light were forced to work as a team. Rem threatened to kill Light if he hurt Misa, so it seemed they were stuck with the girl. Even so, Light and Lou sat and talked every night. She could see insanity twinkling in his brown eyes, and helped in every way she could. He still called her his angel. Their combined intellect was next to unbeatable, even by a genius like L.

Everything seemed well... and yet Light was on a path of destruction, and Lou's fear grew with every day, every hour.

Something bad was going to happen... and soon.

On a Thursday morning, as she and Light sat together on a bench in the park, his phone buzzed. He put it to his ear, passing the book he was holding to Lou - she'd become much like his assistant. She took it immediately and watched carefully as he listened to the someone on the other side.

Patiently she waited for almost two minutes. Finally, Light put the phone down.

'I'm to meet with Ryuzaki... L... in person, in front of the college.', he said quietly, looking her in the eyes.

'Wait... wait.', Lou grabbed his wrist. 'This could be some kind of trick.'

'It doesn't matter.', Light smiled a little bit, lowering his lashes. 'He will be dead soon.'

Lou's lower lip trembled, her eyes widened. She let go of him.

'W-what?', she asked quietly, her voice barely a whisper.

'He'll die, Lou', he titled his head. 'I can force Misa into making Rem kill Ryuga.', his voice turned quiet as well. 'It's a question of one demand.'

Lou moved away from him on the bench, her hands started shaking. She was looking into his eyes, she she could see he wanted to kill him. She never... she never thought of it like that. She never imagined not all his thoughts were revealed. She was...

'But...'

'Are you trying to disobey me?', asked Light, his eyes narrow.

Lou chocked.

'I...'

'I have to go now. Goodbye.', he leaned in, but she moved away immediately. Light sent her a confused look and in a few seconds, he was gone. Even when he was out of sight, Lou still sat frozen on the bench. She hadn't realised... she didn't know.

Oh, God, it was all getting far worse than she'd expected...

And Light could kill anyone, really, just by forcing Misa into asking Rem. He controlled everything... and Lou was starting to see that her only way of making it right was controlling him. How could she do that? She needed a plan.

She needed to protect her friend, whatever the cost.

_Yes, but... which friend?_

'Having second thoughts, are we?', Ryuk suddenly flew up to her hand sat down on the bench by her side, in a casual position. Lou glanced at him.

'What?'

'Come on, I won't tell Light.', he chuckled, then laughed.

Lou closed her eyes.

'You lie.'

'Yup, I do.', he admitted, no shame whatsoever. Lou breathed out and turned to face him - they were alone anyway, it didn't matter.

'Ryuk... do you care for my fate?', she asked seriously, looking him in the eyes. The god of death giggled for a few moments, and then realised she was for real. He scratched the back of his head, thinking.

'Well... kind of, I guess. You're nice. You get me apples', he shrugged.

'I need you... I need you... please.', she was starting to cry. A few tears ran down her cheek. 'Please, don't care for me anymore, just make sure L isn't killed. I couldn't... I couldn't let that happen.'

Ryuk sighed and put a long, bony finger under her chin, lifting it up.

'It's no use, Lou. I've seen his lifespan. L will die.'

Lou burst into tears, curling into a ball on the bench.

'Then what... what is the point of me...', she whispered, shaking violently. Ryuk hesitated and finally patted her shoulder. She continued crying, clueless as to what she should or even could do. Her two only friends were on a quest to kill each other. She was lost.

Her mind refused everything. Stubbornly it pushed away any idea of a plan, as if fate had already decided.

Ryuk squeezed her shoulder gently, and in a very unsure voice, spoke:

'Lou, there is one thing...'

'Hm?', she sniffed, tears still streaming down her face.

The god of death bit his blue lip.

'I'm not supposed to tell you anything... But... You have control over Light. You may not know it, but you do. With a few words you, well yeah, you can do pretty much anything. _Trust me.'_

The girl looked at him, confused. How? What did he mean? She slowly sat up and glanced at the spot Light was in only a moment ago. Then it hit her. Could it be?

* * *

><p><em>A god of death has no obligation to completely explain how to use the note or rules which will apply to the human who owns it unless asked.<em>


	15. Chapter 15

**Yeah, I know I've been gone for years, but finals are finals. I'm not a genius like Light. **

* * *

><p>"Lou? I'm turning myself in."<p>

Light's words hit her, at first positively, then she realised that it was just a continuation of his plan to win L's trust.

To win _Lawliet's _trust. L Lawliet, the name never revealed... and the name behind the 'L' itself. That name get Lou more power than she could imagine, and even as much as she imagined was a whole lot. She could tell Light, and the whole thing would be over. She could, as well, tell L about her ties to Kira and by doing so, sentence Light to death.

She'd never thought she would have so much power in her hands. And the balance was impossible to maintain.

Her lips trembled.

"Light... we have to talk.", she said quietly, pulling him further into the room by the sleeve.

He gave her a confused glance, but she didn't care. She needed to get it off her chest, and perhaps, make a decision that would change her life. She wasn't yet sure about the final answer, but...

"What's wrong?", he asked, more alarmed than actually worried. "Lou?"

She closed her eyes.

And behaved like a coward.

"Tell me about your plan. The custody thing."

"Well, this is a very important matter. You know that in the light of recent events, with what happened to Misa... I have no other option than to give the Death Note to you."

He held out a hand and there it was, the thin black notebook, the one that killed millions and millions of people... _No, _Lou corrected herself. _Light killed them. _

She took a step back at once, raising both hands.

"I thought the deal was..."

"I was forced to change my mind.", he clenched his jaw. "Lou, I trust you completely. I know you can become Kira for the time I lose my memory..."

Lou blinked.

"I won't kill a human. Never.", she whispered, but her tone was stern. Light grabbed her wrist with his free hand and pushed her back, not harshly, but also not in a way she'd call delicate. His eyes were narrow... different. Darker. She trembled. _So this is what becomes of the user of the Death Note, _she thought to herself.

"You will.", replied Light surely. "You will become Kira, and together we'll make a new world."

Lou locked her eyes with his.

He leaned in and kissed her, lodging his hand on her nape. His lips were warm, and for a second, she forgot everything. Just for a second. Her sharp mind pulled her back to reality, and though his kiss made it _extremely _hard, she slowly put a hand on his chest and pushed him back. As delicately as she could.

"No.", she said quietly. "I believe in your ideals, Light. I believe in _you_. But I won't use that damned notebook."

"Don't you see?", he chuckled, tilting his head. "You have done no less than me. Yes, it's true, my hand wrote the names - but you were always there, weren't you? Backing me. Watching me. Helping me.", he barked the words. "You and me work together... flawlessly."

Her heart was beating like crazy. Her breathing got heavier. Thoughts were scurrying around in her mind, and finally from the moving pit emerged one clear sentence:

_I'm a killer. _

"Light...", she escaped from between his arms and turned away. "I thought I could give myself. I thought I could follow you. I thought I could even save you. But now I see, I was always destined to fail. I'm going to make a vow now... I vow never to use the Death Note. And I vow to never go after you again.", she looked at him sharply. "Where you're headed, I can't go."

He watched her, his face made of stone. She couldn't read a single emotion, and that was what led her to believe he was too shocked to show any. But even though she was a smart girl, she couldn't begin to understand how betrayed Light felt in his moment. How lost. He nodded slowly, still feeling numb.

"Alright.", he said, but didn't really know whether he'd said it out loud. "It's alright."

"I will keep all I know to myself.", Lou crossed her arms on her chest. "And in return, you won't kill me."

He didn't reply. She waited a few moments, then put her bag on her shoulder and left.

Light opened the notebook and flipped a few pages, going back to the place where he'd started writing down her name. Lavender. With a slow motion, he took the lid of his pen with his thumb and continued.

R...

"You can't do it, asshole."

Ryuk's voice spoke right above his ear and made him jump. Light glanced at the god of death in surprise.

"Yes, I can. I can kill anybody."

"I don't mean you don't have the means, you just can't do it. And you won't. The girl's important to you", Ryuk shrugged and put his bony hands on his hips.

"That' not true.", snapped Light.

"Then go ahead, keep writing."

_I can't stop later. Even a misspelled name could work. Then she'd be dead. And there would be no more light in those green eyes of hers... and I can't imagine that. I can't finish writing this name. _

But when he looked down at his paper, he realised in horror, he'd written the name completely. It was right there before him. And that meant... that meant...

40...

39...

Light jumped to the window, the notebook hit the floor. He pressed both his hands to the glass, staring at the street wide-eyed - after a moment, he saw Lou.

She was walking down the street hurriedly, glancing right and left.

20...

19...

18...

"No! No. Ryuk, stop! Make it stop!", Light turned to the god of death, terrified.

"I wish I could, but we, in principle, can't do anything to prevent the deaths.", he shrugged and crossed his arms on his chest. "But, I'm under the impression..."

5...

4...

3...

2...

1...

Light gulped, sweat running down his face. Nothing happened. The girl walked across the street, and continued down the road with her bag swinging at her side. His brow furrowed.

"...the girl won't die.", finished Ryuk, also watching her.

The terrible pain of betrayal doubled. Not only had she given up. She'd also told him another fake name. Another alias. How many lies were there, how many masks was she wearing? Light's fists clenched, and a pointless tear ran down his cheek.

"Fine, then.", he growled.

"I'm not entirely sure she can hear you...", Ryuk began, but one glare silenced him.

Light straightened up, and ran his fingers through his hair.

"I'll just have to figure out a different way.", he said simply, and put his hands in his pockets.

* * *

><p><em>A god of death can extend their own life by putting a name on their own note, but humans cannot.<em>


	16. Chapter 16

Lou ran straight home and slammed the door. It was over, just like that. It was over, she was free. And Light didn't kill her. He could've, he knew her real name! But he didn't.

She put her hand over her eyes, sobbing.

So he wasn't a monster after all.

What now?

"Hi mum, I'm back.", she said and sniffed.

"I though you were with Soichiro Yagami's son.", replied her mother. If it were any other boy, she would have been extremely mad - but Light was a perfect son and a perfect student, everybody knew that.

"We had a fight.", Lou shook her head and vanished in her room. Her eyes were closed, and she didn't notice the man standing in front of her - instead, she bumped straight into him.

She looked up slowly, surprised.

"Hello, Lav.", L said monotonously. "Why are you crying?"

He was asking? He knew, surely. He was the world's greatest detective, after all.

"Lawliet, don't... Don't.", she sighed.

"Don't use my name, please."

"Right, sorry", Lou walked past him and collapsed onto her bed. "Hm..."

L followed, and crouched down on her chair. She never understood it, it was a terrible position. She only tried it a few times, and found herself terribly stiff afterwards.

"Life sucks.", Lou decided.

"Well, you're rather depressed.", L tilted his head to the side. "Is it Light?"

"The issue is over. Screw it all.", Lou crossed her arms on her chest and rolled over. "L, I need you to watch out."

"I'm always careful, if that's what you mean.", he replied.

Lou pouted.

"L... Please..."

"You're very shaken", L tilted his head. "Something occurred with Light, perhaps a kiss..."

"THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT!", snapped Lou and sat up rapidly. "Damn you, Lawliet, for being so smart! And yet you can't figure out, you have to abandon the Kira case and save yourself!"

L watched her calmly.

"So you have reasons to believe that Kira will kill me soon, yes?"

Lou opened her mouth, but no sound came out.

"...Well, it's not new to me. Hm, if you react like this after visiting Light, it is now 95% chance that he is Kira. The other five is... It's you."

Lou's eyes widened, she moved away from him and pulled her knees to her chest.

"Lawliet, you know I'm not!"

"You could be. You're very intelligent, you're close to me..."

Lou shook her head rapidly.

"I'm not Kira!"

_Or am I?_

_In a way, perhaps. Some of my actions protected him... Helped him. I am Kira, or part of him at least._

The thought made her shiver.

"L, save yourself.", she whispered. "Please."

* * *

><p>Yet, Lou couldn't stop thinking about Light. He hadn't killed her! So, he wasn't as evil as she thought. The old Light was still in there.<p>

Of course, Lou wasn't aware Light had actually written her name in the Death Note. The only reason why she survived was, it probably wasn't her name. Well, Lou had always been absolutely certain her name was Lavender Robins.

Beep! Wrong.

She sat, slowly being destroyed by pain and guilt, when she suddenly heard familiar, vigorous chomping. Lou turned to see Ryuk's over six feet frame - he was munching on an apple, as always.

"What are you doing here?", she asked. Ryuk waved his hand - between his fingers was the Death note itself. "Light is asleep. Take a look at this"

Lou tilted her head in surprise and grabbed the Death Note, opening it.

"I wanted you to know. Lou, you shouldn't follow Light anymore. He's not the same person", Ryuk warned.

She stared at the name written in the middle. And she couldn't believe.

Lavender Robins.

Her name.

But she was alive!

She checked for any mistakes, but Light was a perfectionist. Everything was alright. Then why...?

"I got my eyes, Lou, and I can see your real name. It's not Lavender Robins."

"But that's impossible, I was given that name at birth!", she cried in shock.

Ryuk giggled and took a bite of his apple.

"Nope."

"What do you mean?", Lou's brow furrowed.

"Well, obviously, your name was changed at some point in your life.", Ryuk shrugged.

"But does that mean I don't know my own name?!", she cried quietly.

The shinigami sat down on her bed and chewed on his apple for a while, contemplating the sweet taste. Lou sighed and threw him another one. She always carried three spare apples for him... It was a habit.

Ryuk caught the apple and smiled.

"Seems that there is only a handful of people who know.", he said. "And two gods of death, that's me and Rem."

"Can you tell me my name?", asked Lou with a sigh. Ryuk shook his head. A little too merrily, for her taste.

She nodded and bit her lip.

"Okay, I understand. He was going to murder me.", she said quietly, staring at the letters in the notebook. Then she gave it back to him.

"See ya.", Ryuk flew out through the window.

* * *

><p>"Did you do it?", asked Light, his arms crossed on his chest. Ryuk nodded.<p>

"I'm not a messenger, you know.", he said grumpily, out of breath. "Bit yeah, I showed her the notebook. Now give me my apples."

"All yours.", Light nodded and took the Death Note. "Thank you, Ryuk. Do you think she'll be safe now?"

The god of death snorted and laughed, putting his hands on his hips.

"She's certainly not coming back.", he said. "All's good."

"Yeah. Fine, time to get to work.", Light's eyes narrowed and he sat down by the desk.

Then, he started writing names. Before he went into custody, he had to do his final deed.

* * *

><p>"I have to give up my pride.", Light stared into the camera.<p>

_Give up._

_Alright, then._

Ryuk stood up and giggled.

"See ya, then.", he said with a shrug and walked out the wall, leaving Light alone in the dimly lit cell. The boy's eyes widened and changed.

The plan was going perfectly. Light forgot the Death Note completely.

"Lou... I met with Lou. Where is she? L?! What happened to Lou?!", he cried, standing up.

"Lou?", came the synthesized voice.

"Yes. What happened?"

"Well, as I recall, you had a fight.", replied the detective. "Didn't you?"

Light's brow furrowed.

"A fight... Yes. No matter."

He closed his eyes and sighed, clenching his jaw.

"Let me out! I'm not Kira!"

* * *

><p><em>A person can shorten hisher own life by using the note._


	17. Chapter 17

**ahhh wowza, I'm the crappiest author like, ever. **

* * *

><p>It wasn't long after Lou left Light that L was killed.<p>

When she found out, she cut all the bonds between them. She severed them and vowed never to help him, even meet with him, again. In heart heart, Lou suspected that the reason why Light had changed was in fact her leaving him... But she couldn't admit it. It was just too painful. After L's death, Lou focused completely on her studies and did everything she could to forget her past.

Despite that, she'd sometimes wake up in the middle of the night with the terrible fear that someone had been touching her and clutching her throat.

And _sometimes, _just _sometimes, _she'd see a familiar face in the crowd - a face that reminded her of Light, _her _Light. She never, ever turned around to check if it really had been him.

Maybe just once.

And that time, she saw a blonde girl by his side.

Lou closed her eyes and pushed further into the crowd.

Her life took a few unexpected turns - she'd very much wanted to become a lawyer, but that sadly turned out to be impossible. Instead, she found herself studying to become a journalist - her career with the NHN began when she was 22. As a proud, independent woman she worked hard and supported her mother as a loving daughter would.

Even so, she couldn't ignore what was going on in the world.

Kira was God.

_Light _was God.

Or was it Light at all? Had he changed so much be became Kira completely? She had heard that L still worked - that must have been Light, stealing Lawliet's title. Lou worried.

On the other hand, the world had become a peaceful place. Wars had stopped, no crime went unnoticed.

"Miss Lou.", said her superior one day. "All the other stations are going on about Kira, and only Kira. I want you to look into it, gather as much information as you can."

Lou swallowed.

_Light Yagami is Kira! He's 22 years old, he has brown hair and brown eyes, his father is Soichiro Yagami and- - - _

"Yes, sir.", she nodded. "I'll do it."

* * *

><p>Every time she vistied her mother, all she'd hear was constant Kira propaganda. She soon stopped seeing her, and slowly drifted further and further away from her friends and family. She was feeling like she was the only one who could see in a world of blindmen.<p>

And then, _he_ came.

"Miss Lou", the synthetic voice spoke in her cellphone, reminding her of L so much that at first she thought it was him. "Hello. I was told you are working to find out more about Kira."

She swallowed. No, it wasn't him... but someone so very similar.

"N-Near?", she whispered into the microphone, covering her lips with one hand.

"E-excuse me?"

"You're Near, right? L told me about you. He said you were a little boy at Wammy's- - -"

"Please stop talking.", Near ordered. "Miss Lou, I don't know who the previous L was to you and how you know what you do. However, I did a small briefing of my own. You used to be very close with a certain Light Yagami..."

Lou clenched her jaw, sitting down at her desk.

"I've put that behind me.", she replied sternly, glaring at her free hand.

"I'm afraid I need to ask you something"

"Just a few questions, okay?"

"What kind of person was Light when you were with him?"

Lou shivered. If she said too much, she would betray her closest friend. If she said too little, Near would lock onto her and never let her go freely.

"He was... very sure of himself. Always polite, and...", she frowned at the lie, "straightforward. He wanted to be... just like his father, and join the police force.", she spoke, digging up old memories and shaping them into something between a lie and the truth.

"Soichiro Yagami is dead. He was killed... as a result of Kira's actions."

The girl shook, almost dropping the cellphone. To go that far...? _No, Light, what are you doing?! Why did you- - - how could you- - -oh, God. No. _

"That's... sad", she managed finally, chocking down tears of shock.

"Thank you."

Near disconnected.

So that was L's successor. He was only... what, seventeen? Lou closed her eyes. _God. It's been years since Light and I parted ways. I wonder if he as much as remembers me. I wonder... I wonder how he is with Misa. I hope he treats her well... it's not that I liked her, I just... I'm so scared. This new Light... who knows how he'd treat a girl. _

A terrible thought came to her mind.

_What if he beats her?_

No, that was impossible.

Or was it?

_No. I knew Light. He didn't like Misa much, but he needed her, and if he needed her, then he wouldn't do anything to upset her. That girl loves him boundlessly... in some ways, she's like me. But she doesn't draw a line, and I do. _

_Perhaps she deserved him more than me from the start. _

Lou shook her head. What was she even thinking? She was behaving like a jealous fifteen-year-old. All that was her concern was getting paid.

Near never contacted her again, which led her to two possibilites: either he'd tossed her aside as unimportant, or he knew perfectly well who she'd been. Kira's partner and accomplice.

"Kiyomi Takada! May I have a minute?", Lou asked out of routine. Takada was NHN's face, but although theoretically they worked together, they never actually met in office. Kiyomi wasn't a special presenter, just another _somebody _at the firm.

The brunette gave Lou a shocked look. Lou stared right back.

_WHOA that's a big chest. _

"Lou? Is that you?"

"Do we... know each other?", the girl blurted out, stopping in her tracks with her notepad in hand. She'd been planning to ask Kiyomi about her views on Kira.

"Lou! Oh, we used to go to school together, remember?", Kiyomi laughed. "You were close friends with Light Yagami, weren't you? Right before he and I started dating, that is."

Lou was beginning to remember... and realised it wasn't like Kiyomi, blurting out confessions like that. Was she...? Was she indirectly saying she'd been Light's girlfriend, and Lou had not?

Or perhaps asking if Light and Lou _had _been a couple in secret.

"Ah, yeah, I knew Light", Lou shrugged. _DATING?!_, she blinked. "I... didn't think you two got together in college. Are you in contact with him, by the way?"

"No, it was just a brief thing.", Kiyomi waved a hand. "I actually have no idea what happened to him... and he was so promising, too."

_He's KIRA, dammit!_

"Hm, yeah, he had potential", Lou blinked and smiled. "I'm happy to see you've achieved success, though. I haven't had the opportunity, but congratulations."

"Please, you had better grades than I", Kiyomi laughed. "Funny."

"And I ended up a good-for-nothing journalist. And about that... I'm doing something of a document on Kira. Would you mind stating your view?"

The brunette smiled brightly. Lou checked the room for cameras, but found none - so her school-time friend would be honest.

"I support his actions completely.", she said. "He... or she... is making the world a better place."

_You're so smart, _Lou thought, _and yet there you are. Saying dumb-ass things. _

"I see. Thanks so much! We should go get a coffee sometime.", she smiled falsely and trotted away, swearing in her mind. Anywhere she went, she was bombarded with either Kira propaganda or Light Yagami ex-lovers.

It was getting so much worse. Lou had no idea what to do. Even after all these years... she still wanted to save Light. But every second she was reminded that Light Yagami was dead.

The only one who remained... was L-Kira.

* * *

><p><em> The human who becomes the owner of the Death Note can, in exchange of half hisher remaining life, get the eyeballs of the god of death which will enable him/her to see a human's name and remaining life span when looking through them._


	18. Chapter 18

**I'm so sorry**

* * *

><p>"So, how's that Kira document you're making going?", Kiyomi took a sip of her coffee, looking Lou in the eyes.<p>

"It's alright", the other woman shrugged. It was going crappy, that's how it was going.

"Oh, pouty face.", the brunette smiled. "Listen, Lou, you shouldn't worry so much."

"Gathering information is pretty damn hard when everyone's lying out of fear", Lou muttered, glaring at her own coffee cup.

Kiyomi stopped smiling.

"You oughtn't say things like that", she lectured in a hiss.

_It's like the whole world thinks Kira sees all. He's just a 22-23 year old guy with a notebook, for God's sake. _

"Kiyomi, I'm not scared of Kira.", Lou admitted bravely. "I'm not. He's only human, just like the rest of us."

"Really, Lou, stop it!", Kiyomi leaned over the table. Other people were starting to give them strange looks. Lou glanced around.

_What is this. This world... it's insane. It's absurd and surreal. Is this what you wanted, Light? _

She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed deeply, taking a long sip of her coffee.

"Sorry, Kiyomi. I'm just really tired."

"I can see.", the brunette smiled gently, touching her hand. "You shouldn't work so hard, Lou. The NHN can wait for your document a little longer, I think."

Lou's phone vibrated. She glanced at the screen, then buried her face in her hands.

"Bloody awesome", she whispered. "The project's off. They're all so scared Kira will get mad."

"To be frank, I myself was a bit worried about your safety.", Kiyomi admitted. "We all know Kira doesn't enjoy being researched."

Lou snorted.

"Like he'd-"

And suddenly, something struck her. It struck her so hard she dropped the cup of coffee, spilling the hot liquid all over the table. It stung her hand, but she didn't move, staring into the distance with wide, empty eyes.

_Misa. Misa Amane had the eyes of the god of death. Misa Amane _knew _my real name, she certainly told it to Light... after writing my name into the notebook, he surely asked her... so he KNOWS my real name! And he hasn't killed me! Oh, God..._

She shook, covering her mouth with her hands.

_Light can kill me any second. He didn't do it... all this time, I've been at his mercy... how could I have forgotten? Something this important- - - _

"-ou. Lou, you alright?!"

"I'm sorry, I just...", she shook her head, focusing on Kiyomi. "I just..."

"Hey, girl, you're really stressed out", the brunette put a hand to her forehead. "And you're cold as ice! Come on, we're leaving. It's on me."

She put some money on the table and helped Lou to her feet, holding her up by the elbow.

_Light... my Light... _

Lou fainted.

* * *

><p>She woke up in her own bed, with Kiyomi sitting in a chair next to it. She was reading through her document.<p>

"Oh, you're awake", the brunette said, glancing at her. "How are you?"

"I'm fine.", Lou rubbed her forehead and sat up. "Thanks, Kiyomi."

Takada smiled in reply.

"I've been reading your research. You're really good... have you considered being a detective? Or a psychologist. The way you analyze Kira's motives and psyche, it's amazing."

Lou took the papers from her hands gently and put them on the other side of the bed.

"Thanks, but it's all worthless now anyway.", she sighed. "With the project cancelled, I don't know..."

"You should be my assistant", Kiyomi smiled wider. "I'm serious, you'd do well."

The girl sighed, considering. After a few moments she nodded, seeing there was no other way of keeping her job stable. And Kiyomi was the face of NHN - one of the biggest stations in Japan. She was quite powerful.

Lou played with her hair. The realisation she'd been too stupid to think of before was still echoing in her mind - and her conflict was even greater. One one hand, Light was in a way responsible for his own father's death. On the other, he hadn't killed Lou even though he could have. Now that Lou was considering it, it wasn't like Ryuk to come warn her.

It was quite certain he _liked _her a lot, after all, she always had apples for him, but he wasn't the type of guy to do something nice without a reason.

Which led her to the conclusion... had Light _bribed _him somehow so that the god of death tricked her into forgetting everything, including her feelings? She recalled that night.

_"Light is asleep. Take a look at this. I wanted you to know. Lou, you shouldn't follow Light anymore. He's not the same person"_

Lou swallowed.

Maybe... in fact...

"Hey, you're drifting away again", Kiyomi took her hand worriedly. "Lou?"

"N-no, I'm okay."

_Light Yagami murdered my best friend, L Lawliet. I must hate him. I must, if I cared for Lawliet in the least. _

"I'll just let you rest. In the meantime, I'll talk to your superiors. Kay?"

"Kay..."

She bared noticed Kiyomi leaving, but as soon as the door closed, she tumbled out of bed and ran to her laptop to check the news. It was crucial that she remained up-to-date on everything.

A few heart attacks... nothing special, that was just Light having his fun...

Lou fliched. Had she really just thought of Kira killings as Light _having his fun_?!

Jesus Christ.

She kept scrolling.

"Sakura TV people murdered... so, Kira didn't like that prophet, did he...? Before this... the 'money rain', yeah...", Lou muttered to herself. "Alright, so not much as happened, has it."

She wasn't surprised Light had killed the Sakura TV people, they were maniacs who only made Kira look bad. Still used to working on her document, Lou's thought followed Light's. She knew how Kira worked. She knew what his values were. She knew _him._

He was going to pick a new prophet. Someone intelligent, someone from a mojor TV station...

Perphaps someone he knew.

Lou's eyes widened.

_No. No... _

Someone who supported Kira.

"Kiyomi!", she cried quietly, instinctively glancing at the door where her friend had left. They hadn't known each other long, but Lou had a habit of immediate loyalty. Whenever she met someone and they clicked into place, she immediately started looking out for that person and taking care of them.

Given how Kiyomi got her safe after she had passed out, she felt the same way.

_No, Light. You can't... you can't take another friend away from me._, Lou thought, closing her eyes. _You take everyone. Even if you don't know I'm here... even if you have no idea I work at NHN... you're stealing away all that matters. One day, there will be no one but you left. _

Lou shivered, terrified of herself. She knew very well that when that time came, she would betray her own vows and ideals and crawl to his feet.

Because that was just how much she loved him.

* * *

><p><em>A god of death cannot be killed even if stabbed in his heart with a knife or shot in the head with a gun. However, there are ways to kill a god of death, which are not generally known to the god of death.<em>


	19. Chapter 19

**Long time no see! How are you? I'm sick. My throat hurts, and it's absolutely terrible. Anyhow, here's your new chapter of Blackest Hearts. **

* * *

><p>"So... What's your plan, Light?"<p>

The young man barely resembled the student he'd once been. His eyes were more narrow; almost cruel. He was taller now, his hair longer.

Misa was out shopping, so Light and Ryuk could talk freely while they were in his apartment. It was spacious and modern, like that of any successful lawyer or businessman - although a businessman wouldn't have cameras installed.

"I can't do much, my hands are tied. Although it seems I'm free in here, I'm under visual surveillance.", he spoke coldly. "My back is to the camera right now. Everything is up to Teru."

"Ah, your brunette pet."

"Teru. Heh.", Light lowered his lashes, smiling. "Well, Ryuk? I want you to watch over him."

"Sure, sure, treat me like your slave.", the god of death bickered, crossing his thin arms on his chest.

"You know what happens if you disobey me.", Light warned. "I'll write Lou's name into the notebook."

"You won't do that, you stupid human.", Ryuk laughed. "Little Light Yagami, you think you're mysterious and secretive... But I know you."

"You think you do."

Ligh got up from the sofa and walked into the bedroom, stretching his arms above his head.

_Lou..._

"Seriously, will you ever stop thinking about that kid?"

"Will _you_?", Light muttered.

"Really, Light. That's just pitiful. Lou left, that's that. You wrote her name into the Death Note. Her fake name, that is.", Ryuk gestured with his hands. "You still coulda killed her with the name you managed to get out of Misa."

"Just shut up and go see Teru!", Light hissed. As soon as the shinigami vanished, he sat down on the bed hid his face in his hands.

* * *

><p>Ryuk flew to the young prosecutor's house, muttering nasty words under his breath.<p>

All was better with 'the kid', as he called her, around. Lou was gentle and kind. She wasn't so special when it came to skills and learning speed, but she had that inner need to save people who simply couldn't be saved.

Ryuk knew how Light's reign would end...

He knew what he was going to do.

"Hey there, Mikami.", he said in a hoarse voice, greeting him. "Your God's going to be put under instense observation tomorrow. I won't be able to talk to him, y'see. So, it's up to you to decide on the new prophet, blah blah, blah blah."

"God...", the raven-haired man stared at him. "Very well. I'll do my God's bidding."

_Man, I hope he doesn't screw up,_ Ryuk thought. _He's such a weakling, that Teru. He's almost Lou's opposite._

_Damn, I'm thinking about her too. And it's been years. She left Kira, didn't she? I wish she hadn't touched the Death Note in the first place. Then... Then I could see how she's doing._

He watched as Teru Mikami thought. He wasn't stupid, he was probably more intelligent than Lou, but he lacked her wisdom. His loyalty was that of a blind man, while Lou always considered her actions.

_Aaaand now I'm comparing them._

Ryuk sighed, bored. He just wished things would go back to normal.

* * *

><p><em>If he picks Kiyomi... If he picks Kiyomi, it's the end of her.<em>

_Everyone who gets near Light Yagami dies. Everyone._

Lou knew that her name had been in the Death Note. Light was too arrogant and too possessive of her to just fake the whole thing... Her guess was that somehow, he managed to get Misa to tell him her name after the affair with the Death Note. Following the event of L's death...

Wait.

Now that she was starting to consider it, L's death was in truth a bit of a mystery.

Light didn't have the eyes of a god of death. Misa had been in custody... Or not?

Huh.

Lou didn't know about Rem, the shinigami behind Misa Amane. But she suspected the existence of one, and was that shinigami responsible for the murder of L? Lou pushed those thoughts away. Staying out of Light's business had been her goal, but now old memories and new deductions were coming alive. She had to contact Kiyomi...

And what then?

Kiyomi loved Kira. She supported him openly, and Lou couldn't just ignore that and tell her: _Kira's bad, join Near._

She sighed hopelessly and ran her fingers through her hair, enjoying their silky touch.

Light's hair was just like that. She remembered jokingly patting him on the head, like a kid... she remembered laying beside him with her English notebook in her hands. He probably didn't notice, but there was nothing she wanted more than to stay with him like that. Lou had never supported Kira - killing was wrong and she believed it with all of her heart. On the other hand, in a way, she could see what the future would bring for Light Yagami. When he lost his sanity, he would die.

He'd die pitifully, crawling on the floor.

_Light. My Light. _

Guilt slowly creeped into Lou's heart as she stared blankly at the screen of her laptop with her fingers glued to the keys. She left him. She left him to die.

With her recent observations, it was possible that Light hadn't been the one who killed L Lawliet. If that were true, she couldn't hate him so much.

Maybe he'd wanted to honour her plea?

_No, I'm being naive. I know that boy. He's not kind. He's not gentle. It's an act he put on for me, when the real Kira is and always will be merciless and brutal. _

In a way, she loved that Light as well.

What makes a shell beautiful? The pearl inside. That innocence deep in Light's soul, that secret he locked away. Lou was completely certain now... she was the one clutching the key.

Clutching it for dear life, too. The moment Light lost interest in her, she was dead. She suddenly felt the terrible need to scream it out into the world. To scream everything she knew. _Light, my Light!, _she bit her lip until she tasted blood. It felt so painful. She was being torn apart... she couldn't possibly get to him now, but she wanted to try.

Lou stood up and packed her bag.

Suddenly, she realised the TV was on - her attention turned to it. It showed a man; he was on some kind of show, expressing his opinion.

"...I want to hear our Lord's teachings again. I want to know his bidding, so that I-"

Lou froze.

_Again? _

She jumped back to her laptop and looked at the names of the murdered. _What? A pickpocket? _

_A pickpocket died of a heartattack. Light, what are you doing? This isn't like you. You don't kill people like that. Or is it you at all...?_

Her eyes turned to the TV once more. Teru Mikami, that was his name. Could it be...? A new Kira...? A third Kira. Light's hand.

She needed to contact Near.

* * *

><p><em>The conditions for death will not be realized unless it is physically possible for that human or it is reasonably assumed to be carried out by that human.<em>

* * *

><p><strong>Well then. I know this isn't exactly like in the manga, but due to Lou's interferences, some events have shifted over time. <strong>

**And some motivations. **

**DUM DUM DUM DUM**


	20. Chapter 20

**Eh... I suppose it's time for a Review Reply Corner... **

**Anyway:**

**Guest who reviewed chapter 12: yes, I agree, LightxOC is terribly unpopular. That's the reason I wrote this story. For myself. *Bwahhahahhaah - Kira laugh***

**Mirei-Chan who reviewed chapter 7: heh... heh... heh... ah, well, me and my absolute love of surveilance cameras. Let me tell you, it's not gonna end well. **

**iHaterainbows72: ... why you hating rainbowses? *cries***

**Spark Erica Rose: heh, I'm glad to hear it :D *Kira smile***

**In case you were getting bored, I promise some action in this chapter. **

* * *

><p>Lou smacked her forehead.<p>

And how was she going to contact a guy like Near? Good luck. She miserably sat down, but her mind was racing. If she could get herself on TV... if she

managed to make Near notice Teru Mikami...

But perhaps he already knew.

_Well what if he doesn't? What if he's still in the dark on this? Pickpockets are being killed, for God's sake. This is hardly fair... or rather, it's even more unfair than killing murderers. I have to... I have to do something. _

On the other hand, she could end up screwing everything up.

* * *

><p>Three days later Lou was put in front of a screen. It took less than she'd thought - Kiyomi gave her a few ideas and a good word, so Lou simply did as she was asked. She was sitting between Kira admirers and lovers. People were praying to him. She glanced sideways in shock.<p>

"Hear me...", muttered some man, joining his hands and closing his eyes. "Lord, hear me..."

Lou swallowed. She repeated her own words in her mind for the last time, before the camera turned on her - just like it did on Teru - and she was blinded by lights.

She stood up.

Light had heard Teru Mikami. He was bound to hear her... and so was Near. She was risking so much... Light could kill her. The X-Kira, who was as she thought Teru, could kill her.

_Oh, God. Is this it then?, _the thought. Well, it wasn't like she had anything to lose anymore. Her life was empty. What she truly wanted was Near to end the reign of Kira and for Light to be safe. She would fix it all...

If Near found out about the X-Kira.

He had to. He had to.

"K...", she stuttered. Silence. Lou blinked a few times, trying to ignore the sound of her own pounding heart. "Kira is not alone! I am sure that he has people... people he trusts. From between his loyal subjects he picks a helper...", her mouth went dry. "Someone to keep near."

_Near. Near. Near. _

_Hear me. _

Lou's hands were sweaty. The sooner he knew about X-Kira, the more lives could be saved. She had no other choice than to get on one of the programs Near watched... It was her duty. She blinked, knowing that Teru could murder her any second. Her heart was going so fast she was starting to think she was really having a heart attack. And that pain...

All the names were completely visible. Teru could have the eyes or not; it didn't matter. He could kill each and every one if only he wanted to.

Lou gulped.

Someone was asking something, but she felt like she was in a different dimension. The white light coaxing her, shining in her eyes, as she stood open to the world. In that moment, she felt more helpless and closer to Light than ever before. She felt like she was being blessed. _Kill me if you want to, Teru. _

* * *

><p>Light was shaking.<p>

_That idiot!_

What the hell was she thinking?! Teru would kill her for sure. Light's mind was racing. He had to show him somehow... he had to show him that Lou couldn't die, no matter what. He would never let her die. That girl...

Light glanced sideways - the only ones present were Matsuda and Mogi. Mogi had his face glued to the screen of his computer.

He had to do it. He popped his watch open to reveal the piece of paper inside - Death Note paper. With his pen, he scribbled down the names of the people who were sitting around Lou.

40 seconds.

"She must be right!", cried someone, to the girl's visible surprise. People joined him, actually agreeing with the girl. She was shocked. They were so brainwashed... anything could be put in their heads. What... what wrecks of humans. All she wanted was to get out of the room and run home. Leave everything behind. She closed her eyes, and when she opened them - she saw five bodies around her.

Lou was standing in a circle of corpses. It had definitely been made to look like she had been spared - Light, protecting her from Teru. Lou was surprised; but not as stricken as she thought she'd be. Had she really put her faith in Kira...?

Those people...

Althought not shocked at the save, her thoughts were racing. Something hot and wet streamed down her cheeks, she realised it was tears. Her knees bent by themselves, making her collapse into the metal chair. Half of her mind was desperately thanking Light, the other - mourning the deaths of these poor, brainwashed, innocent people.

Someone pulled her out of the hall, but Lou managed to look straight into the camera one last time.

"Blessed by Kira! Blessed!", cries reached her ears, although it was all coming to her slowly. The hands that had yanked her out of the room were now carrying her, crying out things about Kira's love and kindness. Bitterly, Lou realised these people hadn't given one thought to the dead.

So blind. Like animals.

'L-let me go...", she managed. "Let me go!"

Immediately, she was gently put on the floor. Her knees shaking and eyes teary, she jumped to her feet and attempted to run out; but the door was closed.

_Oh, Light. My Light. What have I done... _

More tears streamed down her cheeks. She didn't care she was being taken into a side corridor, and out into the open. A second later she heard the slam of a car door, and through the darkened glass she saw a blur of light and colour.

Lou whimpered. No, no. This was all wrong. It was all the wrong way around.

Her eyes turned blank, and she didn't move for the rest of the ride.

* * *

><p><em>The specific scope of the condition for death is not known to the gods of death, either. So, you must examine and find out.<em>

* * *

><p><strong>Hm... blessed by Kira, huh? <strong>

**How's that for Lou? What can I say... wow, I adore that girl (and I rarely like OCs) so that's that. Please review, and let me know what you think. **

**_Blackest Hearts_ continues next week (or not...)**


	21. Chapter 21

**SURPRISE, LOSERS! sorry, just kidding. Anyway, I got the day off, so here's another chapter. **

**Oh, do I love cliffhangers. So anyway, review reply corner:**

**shawk4: ehehehehhehehe... I'm sorry, I just (see first sentence)**

**Spark Erica Rose: it's as I always say, in writing, if you're not getting death threats, you're not doing it right. **

**smexy-bunny-13: thank you for reviewing even though you don't do it often, it means a whole lot (/.\)**

* * *

><p>Lou opened her eyes slowly.<p>

"Mistress."

She blinked.

"Wh-what..."

"Mistress, wake up."

_Jesus. Freaking. Christ. What am I wearing. _

Lou stared at the white dress in shock. It was beautiful, with long sleeves and a laced front, so delicate she was scared she'd rip it only by moving. She slowly sat up, realising she was in some kind of penthouse - situated high above the city, with enormous windows and the Kira heart symbol painted on the wall.

She was, in every sense of the word, terrified.

The woman in front of her had black hair and dark eyes, she was also dressed in white. Her dress paled in comparison with Lou's, which was obvious, because...

Because Lou was now the one _blessed by Kira. _

_Light, you asshole, you should have let me die._

Lou never thought about him so negatively. She was by nature kind and gentle... but this was pushing it to the limit. Just what was she to him? She knew quite well how much he meant to her, but Light never cared much about the people around him! Not ever! Not his own father, not his own sister, not Misa...

And not...

No.

Lou's eyes widened, she jumped to her feet. _Kiyomi! _

"What's happening? Tell me!", she cried, grabbing the woman by the shoulders.

"Mistress... Kira has picked a prophet. At the moment, she is introducing herself to the masses. You are to meet with her tomorrow, and-"

"No! You don't understand! I have a job, a mum, a life I have to take care of-"

The black-eyed girl's lips slowly pulled upwards, marking her face with a terrifying, fanatical smile.

"Mistress, you are now the Blessed. All those things don't matter anymore", she said calmly, joining her hands on her lower stomach. Lou's heart started throbbing.

_Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. _

Blessed by Kira, yeah right. Although the girl seemed peaceful and nice, Lou was somewhat prejudiced against fanatical Kira lovers.

_Hm... but then, I'm sort of like that. _

She pushed that thought away and let go of the girl's shoulders. Something else she said bothered her.

"Who's the prophet?", she asked in a frightened voice.

"Her name is Kiyomi Takada."

* * *

><p>Kiyomi rushed out of the room, blood circling in her veins about three times faster than usual. She'd managed to keep her feelings in check for the cameras, but now, she was truly nearing ecstasy.<p>

Her. Kira had picked her. Kiyomi Takada, a NHN presenter.

She was told something about meeting the Blessed, but it didn't really get to her mind. She was too busy trying to organize her own life in her head. She needed to tell Lou straight away, and her relatives, and-

Oh, they probably already knew.

She felt like blood was about to gush from her nose.

"It's me.", she whispered to herself.

The car took her to some strange place; not her apartment. It was in the luxiorous district, one she was probably moving to now... her heart started beating faster. Careful that no one else saw, Kiyomi joined her hands.

_Thank you, Kira. _

She prayed silently for a moment, then she was taken into a building.

As soon as the last door opened, Kiyomi's eyes met with Lou's - red and swollen from crying.

Happiness?

"Lou! You're the Blessed!", she exclaimed, opening her arms and walking further inside. Her friend was dressed in a white, beautiful cloak that made her look like a saint.

The girl bit her lip and clung her her, wrapping her arms around Kiyomi's middle.

"K-Kiyomi... please... please, don't be Kira's prophet..."

Warm tears sunk into her clothes. The presenter stood frozen.

"Huh?"

"K-Kiyomi. I have a bad feeling about this. Please, don't", the green eyes were filled with such pain and fear that for a moment, Kiyomi was certain Lou knew a whole lot more about the Kira case than she was willing to admit. It was like the girl was some kind of all-knowing being, who couldn't spill a word, and yet did everything she could to protect the people.

Then, the sensation was gone. Lou was just a sobbing reporter.

"Pull yourself together", Kiyomi put her hands on her shoulders. "Kira blessed you. You're special. I don't know why, but anyway... you should be happy."

_Happy? HAPPY?! _

_"_Kiyomi... you're so darn _stupid."_

"What?"

Lou rubbed her eyes with both hands, and sniffed, walking over to the window. She could see tiny people down below, and the slowly setting sun. The view would have been beautiful, but she couldn't stop thinking about Light and the terrible path her life was taking.

What was truly mortifying was that now, her mother would be happy. Truly happy. Happy, because he daughter was blessed by Kira.

Lou didn't want that to be the reason why her mother was _proud _of her.

On the other hand, Light had saved her life. Not just _spared _it, like all those times before, but actually _saved _it. Teru Mikami would have killed her for sure, and it would have been the end. Perhaps it would have been a better ending to her story. Lou wanted to die being _someone, _not crawling in the mud. Unfortunately, she was feeling like the second option was coming closer and closer.

Kiyomi was staring at her in shock.

"Lou...", she cleared her throat. "I understand you're upset. You don't support Kira. Why he blessed you... it's a mystery to me. But his will can't be ignored, and I will believe you are special in some way. Right now, pretending you're thankful will be the best option. If you don't... Lou, I'm your friend. But those Kira worshippers will get angry if you show ignorance or... or... or disrespect."

She walked up, and took her hand reassuringly.

"You're in the same spot as me now. This life is dangerous, so do your best. Alright? Our opinions are different, but I still think you my friend."

"I'm sorry, Kiyomi.", Lou sighed. "You're not stupid, I am. I shouldn't have gone off to that talk show in the first place. Let's forget that, okay?"

"Okay."

_How strange, _Lou thought, looking at the sun. _Kiyomi... Teru... they are intelligent individuals, and yet they follow a man like Kira. I understood how a stupid, lost little girl like Misa could blindly love him. How that idiot from Sakura TV worshipped him. But Teru, and Kiyomi? Why? _

Her place is all of this was in the centre of a triangle. One angle was Near and his people, one was Kiyomi, Teru and the rest of the followers, and the last was Light himself. Lou felt like she was protecting everyone from everyone.

How the hell could she make it alone?

"We're both saints now in their eyes", she said quietly. "Kiyomi... don't screw up."

"Heh, seriously, you're telling _me _that? You're the one in trouble."

"Right."

Lou calmed herself, wiping the last tears. What would her next step be? Protecting Kiyomi and Light was definitely a priority, but also, Near was _sort of _right...

"You know, Lou...", a strange smile appeared on Kiyomi's lips. "I feel like the queen of the world."

* * *

><p><em>One page taken from the Death Note, or even a fragment of the page, contains the full effects of the note.<em>

* * *

><p><strong>Hm, this wasn't really my idea. I mean it was, but it came out of nowhere. So now Kiyomi's going psycho, and meanwhile, Light is having FLASHBACK NO JUTSU with her. <strong>

**Finally, a Naruto reference. **

**Thanks for reading, and please review. I feed on reviews. **


	22. Chapter 22

**I used to hum the Death Note intro, but then I realised all the obscenities... **

**(Heh I know they're not ACTUAL obscenities but still)**

* * *

><p>The next day Lou was let out of her penthouse prison. She'd managed to convince the Kira worshippers that Kira would get angry if they did against her wishes, and that seemed to work. She was back at work; dressed completely in white to please the fanatics. As she walked through the bright corridors of the NHN building, people bowed their heads.<p>

When she walked up to her boss and bent the upper part of her body down, as Japanese tradition required, she was shocked to see him bend even lower. This said one thing: he thought _her _superior.

Passing him, Lou found herself standing in front of a door. The small plastic tablet read: Takada Kiyomi.

_Alright_. She took a deep breath, put on a broad smile and walked in.

Kiyomi was on the phone, her cheeks flushed and hand trembling slightly - her voice, however, remained calm. The sparkling in her eyes revealed she was talking to someone she had _deep _interest in.

"...I-it's been a while! What's new with you?"

Someone she hadn't seen in a long time. Lou opened her mouth and gestured to the door, silently asking if she should leave - but Kiyomi waved, mouthing: _come closer. _

Someone Kiyomi wanted Lou to meet?

"In your room? I thought you were living with Misa now?", the presenter continued, voice expressing mild, slightly bitter interest. Lou's brow furrowed.

A small shhhh-khhhr was the reply - Lou wasn't close enough. She sat down on Kiyomi's desk, more and more interested every second. The girl talked about Misa again, sounding slightly jealous. _She's not over him, no way, _Lou thought, shaking her head.

Wait a second. Lou's eyes widened. _Misa?!_

"...I'll be honest. Misa is simply too stupid to really be my partner..."

Her heart started throbbing in her chest. That voice... bad quality and distant, but there was no mistaking it. Light. Light was calling Kiyomi!

"You call me after all these years and you want to have serious conversations?", the presenter sat back, closing her eyes, and the conversation went on for a moment.

Lou was too shocked to think properly and acknowledge what was coming in through her ears.

"...fate"

Light's voice. Light... Memories came flooding into Lou's mind. Had she been standing, she would have fallen.

"Hey, Light... I don't know if you still remember, but my co-worker is someone you might like to talk to", Kiyomi said finally, in a displeased voice. Lou's heart stopped for a second.

Half her mind was desperately thanking Kiyomi, the other was screaming in agony. The mess in Lou's mind reached the optimum, and was suddenly replaced by complete peace.

"Ah... yeah, all right", came Light's muffled reply. "Who is it?"

Kiyomi extended her arm.

Lou raised a shaking hand, unable to stop, and raised the phone to her ear. Her mind was filled by white, completely still.

"Light"

* * *

><p>The man stopped in his tracks. Mogi sent him a surprised glance.<p>

"W-who is this?", Light Yagami asked, walking again.

_L doesn't stutter, _Mogi thought in shock. _He never does. Who could this possibly be?_

"It's me, Lou Sakurai.", replied the voice.

Light closed his eyes, for just a second showing his true emotions - then, the masking smile returned to his face.

"Lou? How... how are you?"

His voice was still shaky. Damn it.

"I'm okay."

"I saw you on television not long ago."

"Yeah, that. Huh."

"You're... probably thankful, right?", he asked a little uncertainly, glancing at Mogi.

_Who is that, _the man mouthed, moving his arms up and down.

Light cleared his throat.

"I don't know.", Lou replied, "I probably should have been left the way I was"

Her words hit him in the chest. _What? She would have died. Did she want to die? No, no, not again... he couldn't see her like that again. So lost and alone. _

"Hahha, don't say that", he chuckled, smiling falsely. "Lou."

"So... I heard you're with Misa, right?"

"Hm, you could say that."

He wanted to say something, show her that the only one he wanted by his side was her. The girl who'd been there from the start, always backing him up... when he was going through hell after the killings, she was there to look after him. Light wanted Lou, no one else.

But he couldn't say _anything. _That would make Kiyomi jealous, and Mogi confused. He already had the reputation of a player, he didn't want to come out as someone who treats women like nothing.

Be that the truth or not.

Now that he considered it, Lou was probably angry after hearing about Misa being stupid. She was probably angry at the blatant way he controlled Kiyomi.

_That Lou. _

He was now going to meet with Kiyomi at a hotel, to reveal that he was Kira. They would be under audio surveillance, but not visual - his key would be note pads or some kind of notebook.

Light also wanted to see Lou. Face to face... he was already sure his feelings for her hadn't changed over the years. Even if he thought so at some point, one glance at her face and one word from her lips and he was going insane.

Lou was the _perfect _goddess.

"You're friends with Kiyomi now, yes?", he asked curiously, tilting his head to the side.

"Yes, we met here at NHN"

"I never thought you'd become a reporter", he allowed himself a real smile, turning away from Mogi.

The girl paused.

"Me neither. I was going to be a _detective_"

"I see.", his smile widened. That was the Lou he knew.

"Light..."

"Yes?"

"Nothing"

"Lou?"

"What?"

Light's face turned dead serious.

"Please forgive me.", he said and hung up, tucking his phone in his back pocket without giving the girl a chance to reply. He didn't want to know if she _accepted _the apology. It wasn't like him, asking for forgiveness; but what could be done? Light only ever imagined saying these words to one person, and that was Lou.

"What was that about?", asked Mogi, raising an eyebrow.

Light smiled and shook his head.

* * *

><p>Lou sat, stricken. Kiyomi took the phone out of her stiff fingers and put in on the desk.<p>

"I'm meeting him at a hotel."

"Oh? Where?"

Not a muscle on her face twitched to express her interest, but she was dying to know. Something at the back of her mind was telling her she was being too cautious, but she needed to protect Kiyomi no matter what.

_Oh, God. _

Kiyomi bit her lip.

"Teito Hotel, room 2501."

"Oh, right, that exclusive one in the centre. Wow, the view... haha", Lou smiled, tilting her head to the side.

"I'm actually a little surprised he didn't want to talk to _you_ in private", despite her words, Kiyomi seemed to be doing her best not to look satisfied.

Lou didn't mind. After all, who wouldn't want to be with a luxiorious hotel room, alone with Light Yagami? She couldn't blame Kiyomi for being attracted to him.

_On second thought, back off. __Wait, what? Where did that come from?_

Lou blushed.

Well... in truth, she'd rather see him in his room again, like when they were younger. Together, side by side, staring at the ceiling and talking about pretty much anything that came to mind. Like that time Light's room was made Kira-proof and they needed to pass the time while Ryuk searched for a blind spot.

"What's with you?", Kiyomi laughed, getting up, suddenly in a great mood. "Anyway, I should go."

"Right"

* * *

><p><em>The instrument to write with can be anything, e.g. cosmetics, blood, etc. as long as it can write directly onto the note and remains as legible letters.<em>

* * *

><p><strong>Alright, alright, I know I'm pulling this. I just wanted a conversation with Kiyomi, and a little rivalry forming... On second thought, what have I done (.\) I generally dislike OCs because they break canon, but I just... I don't know. I really wanted Lou to be someone in this story, not just a Light-obsessed Kira worshipper who ends up in his bed. **

**Not that every OC is like that. **

**(*whispers* A lot, though)**

**I knew from the start I wanted her to think for herself. Sooo, spoiler alert, but: next chapter we'll be seeing the hotel scene, with pervy Matsuda keeping tabs. Cya!**

**And review! **


	23. Chapter 23

**Oh crap *grabs Light's face* I only just started this story... where the hell did twenty three chapters go... wow. Wowowow. **

**Guys, guys, I adore you**

* * *

><p>The door was closed. And, as if it was <em>trying <em>to make her worry more, it was soundproof.

Lou stood, her knees shaking, and stared at the doorknob. It was round and polished perfectly, without a speck of dirt. Her heart was throbbing in her chest. She had walked after Kiyomi, desperately trying to convince herself she was doing it to protect her, and not meet with... with him.

"Ngn...", a small whimper excaped her mouth, she clapped a hand over her lips at once. _Dammit, dammit, dammit.  
><em>

All was wrong. Everything she'd ever wanted was completely destroyed.

She heard something muffled from the room, and fought the urge to glue herself to the mahogany surface. Her knees shook a little more.

_Get a grip on yourself. You're not a weak girl who can't do anything for herself! You're not one of Kira's worshippers, you have a mind of your own. Stand up for yourself! Do it!_

Lou straightened up. She inhaled deeply, and clenched her fists. This was it. There was no way she was going to fail.

_But... just what am I trying to achieve? _

"Scratch that!"

She raised one hand and knocked on the door, suddenly struck by the terrible idea they wouldn't open it.

_Well no way. No way in hell. Just do it, Lou... Lavender... Whatever my name is. You can do it. _

"Kiyomi!", she cried after a second's hesitation.

Slowly, the door turned on its hinges, and a surprised Kiyomi Takada appeared in the doorway - her cheeks flushed, eyes sparkling, and left hand visibly trembling. Like L before her, Lou noted all these things and bit her lip, understanding just what was going on.

"...Lou? What are you doing here?", the presenter asked, startled, and put a loose strand of raven black hair behind her ear.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry, but I gotta do this."

She flamed when she saw Light's hand on her shoulder. She didn't get angry because she was jealous; she got angry because Kiyomi was her friend and Light was using her.

"Alright, now", she added, and with her brow furrowed and lips pursed she pushed the man back, hand flat on his chest. Light stumbled back in surprise.

"What are you doing?! Lou, are you drunk?!", Kiyomi grabbed her wrist, eyes wide with fear.

Lou wasn't scared anymore. No way. She looked at the other woman. So, Light had revealed himself to be Kira...? Bastard. Well...

She looked around, scanning the room. They were definitely under observation, but what kind? Visual? No. Surely not, or she'd be able to spot a camera. Audio, then... seeing the paper on the desk confirmed Lou'd idea. Light'd been writing to Kiyomi on the hotel notepad.

Lou was back to her normal self. The girl who could look Kira in the eyes and whack him. The girl who could take all the same pain that he took, all the sleepless nights, and all the hardships. She was Lou Sakurai; not Lavender Robins, not anyone else.

"Kiyomi, you don't know- - -"

"No, _you _don't know.", the presenter gasped. "Lou- - -"

Then, something flickered in her eyes. _Oh, no. No, no, no, _Lou thought.

"You _know?!"_

Without much ceremony, Lou grabbed Light's tie, pushed Kiyomi further into the hotel room and left, tugging the man behind her. He... wasn't really fighting back, but she didn't have time to think about that.

She closed the door and opened another one with the key she'd picked up before walking after Kiyomi. One couldn't be in a hotel without checking in, and right now, Lou was grateful.

A weight seemed to drop from her heart. When she glanced at Light, she saw a tiny smirk pulling at his lips - his hair messy and tie undone, he made her heart pound. And... it wasn't fear.

All the fear was gone. She realised just how the angst had surpressed her personality; made her into a wreck.

"That wasn't too bad", Light raised an eyebrow, helping her lock the door.

Lou licked her dry lips.

"Okay, okay, none of that. This time I mean it", she said and took a deep breath.

Light sat down on the leather sofa and put one leg over the other, spreading his arms. His pose expressed: _I'm listening. _

"You... can't do this.", Lou closed her eyes. "You can't play this game anymore"

"And you think I'll just _stop_?"

Lou blinked, indifferent to that evil _Kira _smirk on his face.

"Nope. I'm going to make you. Light, you took everything from me... even if you weren't doing it on purpose. Kiyomi is my friend... well, not anymore, since I just stole her night's entertainer."

The man smiled wider. Lou felt like slapping him.

"By the way, what the hell? This isn't like you.", she added matter-of-factly. "You don't just call Kiyomi up and then..."

Her throat went dry. She cursed herself.

"Lou, are you _jealous_?"

His tone was mocking and dark. Her heart hurt. Was she ever going to see the young, innocent, _good _side of him again? Ever?

"No, idiot, I'm not jealous! I'm worried about Kiyomi. We both know what happens to the people you use. They end up dead, that's just the way it is. Remember you dad, Light?"

He didn't move, but the smile vanished from his face. Lou let out a silent sigh of relief.

"You've lost faith in me", he said slowly, surely, staring her deep in the eyes. "You don't _believe _in me"

"And what is your _me, _exactly?", she moved closer and sat down on the chair in front of him.

Part of her mind wondered if Kiyomi was out of the room and searching for them. She was also thinking about what the guys on audio must have thought. Hm... if it was that idiot Matsuda, he was probably snorting with laughter.

"Me? What do you mean?", Light's brown eyes narrowed.

"If when you say _me _you mean Kira, then no, I don't believe in you. I never have.", Lou answered coldly, but her voice soon softened. "If by _me _you mean Light, _my _Light... then..."

She lowered her gaze, staring at her joined hands. She hated the tears stinging her eyes, she hated the invisible hand clutching her throat.

"Then what?", Light's voice was barely a whisper.

"Then I have faith in you, and I always have, and I always will!", she jumped out of the chair and wrapped her arms around his neck, running her fingers into his hair. "I'll follow that Light anywhere."

"You left me", he said in an empty tone.

Lou froze, then slowly moved away, sitting next to him on the sofa. She didn't reply; she didn't know what to say. She didn't want to _anger _him. With trembling fingers, she reached to the first button of his shirt.

"Lou...?"

She clenched her jaw and forced her hand sure. She unbuttoned the rest, down to his chest; then she slipped her hand onto the bare skin on the left side.

He winced, feeling the cold, but didn't move away. In truth, he was curious.

"W-well...", she let out a relieved chuckle, surprising him. "I had doubts for a moment there."

She smiled, feeling the regular drumming of his heart against her palm.

Light's eyes widened.

"Y-you..."

There. There he was. _Her _Light. Lou was so happy she felt like she could die. She didn't move away when he leaned in; she didn't take her hand off his chest when he put his over it.

For some reason during he time she spent away from him, she imagined touching him would bring cold and pain. She didn't know _why _that was; she scarcely let him into her mind at all, and when she did, he was always this stone statue. Unfeeling and devoid of emotion, standing alone on a pile of skulls.

That wasn't Light.

His lips were soft and warm, his touch - soothing.

"W-wait, I'm thinking the guys from your team- - -"

_Will be problematic, _she bit her tongue. _And if it is... they won't trust Light, and then maybe... _

"Still plotting against me, aren't you?", he smiled, laying her down on the sofa. "I can see it in your eyes"

She swallowed uneasily. Light only let out a chuckle and kissed her forehead; in a way so gentle and kind she couldn't believe it was actually him; the man killing millions as Kira, the man she so feared.

"Light, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize."

"But I'm really so- - -"

He clasped a hand over her mouth, nearing his face to hers. His eyes flickered.

"I'm doing what I have to", he whispered. "And you're doing what you have to. I'll love you, no matter if you're with me or against me"

_Love?_

Lou blinked.

"You...", she needed a second to get the words through her throat, "You love me...?"

Light's face turned serious.

"Yes. Do you love me?"

"Yes"

He touched his nose to hers.

"Then all is going according to plan."

Those words made Lou feel unsettled. All was going pretty much in the opposite direction than the plan. Kiyomi was hell knows where, the Task Force was probably going insane- - -

And those words. According to plan...?

So did that mean Light knew she'd eventually give in? Did he think it was alreay too late to stop him? Was that why he said she could do whatever she wanted? Light wasn't the type of person who instinctively knew about love.

What if...?

Lou gulped, breathing harder.

No. Light knew what she could do... after all... surely by now...

No. Light knew she couldn't betray him. He knew he was safe, and... Lou's thoughts were getting chaotic. He was right. He was safe; he was so safe it was almost funny. One person in the whole words who knew everything about Kira; and that girl happened to be Lou. Lou, who couldn't betray him even if she wanted to.

_He knows, _Lou thought. _He knows how much I love him. _

* * *

><p><em> Even the original owners of Death Note, gods of death, do not know much about the note.<em>

* * *

><p><strong>This chapter is long as hell. You better be happy. <strong>

**You know the drill. Review, or I'll send Kira after you. (Just kidding... but seriously)**

**Anyway, it's late, so I'm sorry about mistakes and stuff. Light and Lou give me insomnia. **


	24. Chapter 24

**Konnichiwa, I'm back from the holidays! I hope you frickin' missed me!**

* * *

><p>She could hear distant sounds. Something like ruffling... slow, rhythmical breathing...<p>

Lou fluttered her eyes open, immediately closing them when she saw the bright sun out the window. Slowly, the events of the night before came back to her. _Oh, God, I'll have to explain this mess to Kiyomi... and I'll need to convince her to give up on Light's love, too... and oh my Lord I'm late I'm late I'm late I'm late and-_

_Hold on._

Light finished buttoning his shirt, and turned to glance at her over his shoulder. Lou panicked.

"The hell are you doing here?!"

The man gave her a small smile, then chuckled.

"Think."

She opened her mouth. Then closed it again, and pulled the covers up as far as she could as her cheeks turned crimson. Light turned even more, enough to lightly touch her cheek.

"I'm sorry I woke you."

"No you're not.", Lou rubbed her eyes with her free hand, and sat up next to him. "You were being loud on purpose."

He frowned.

"I never knew you were such a darling in the morning", he muttered, but his grim expression vanished when she put her head on his shoulder. "Lou?"

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.

"What about Misa and Kiyomi?"

Light clenched his jaw.

"What do you mean?"

"First of all, did you break up with Misa? Or not?"

"Believe me, I tried."

"Oh."

Lou didn't want to smile. She _didn't want to_, but she just couldn't help it. She turned her head away to hide the stupid smirk.

"...well, I'm glad you didn't end her."

He was silent.

"Light... You know I can't let you take advantage of Kiyomi. She's very important to me"

"It's strange, seeing you friends with a Kira follower."

Lou hardly even acknowledged the statement, because her mind caught out 'Kira follower' and she realised Light was referring to Kira in third person. It made her ridiculously happy; the Light she'd seen before was someone she was about to give up on, he seemed _inches _away from complete darkness, but now she saw he was still balancing on the red line between good and evil.

Or at least, that was the way he was with her.

_Maybe I'm being naive. Just because he's like this when he's in my presence doesn't mean he's going to continue being the good man he is as soon as he leaves-_

_Which means I have to go with him. I can't leave him alone, I just..._

"Wait", she blurted out. "I'm... I'm coming with you"

"Lou", he cocked an eyebrow. "What are you talking about? I am L now, you're the Blessed. Kira chose you. Honestly, you can't think they'll let you come with me?"

She closed her eyes, her lip between her teeth.

"Light, why did you do that? See how much trouble it's... how much trouble I... and my mother, she's probably...", she covered her face with her hand.

He stared at her for a few moments, then leaned down and kissed her cheek.

"I'm leaving Kiyomi to you now. Do your best, and don't disappoint me"

He was planning to leave with that, his fingers were already on the doorknob - but suddenly, Lou sprang up.

"I'm your partner, Light! Not Kiyomi, not Misa, _me!_ Things aren't well between us, but I deserve your respect as much as you deserve mine! Do you have any idea how many times you've disappointed _me_? I only live to protect... and I'm trying to protect the old you, but all you do is drift further and further away, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do, I don't know why I have to play the Blessed and I don't know how the hell I can ever hope to make you understand-"

"Lou...", he closed his eyes, turning to her with a smile. "My dear Lou. We've always been playing tug-o-war here, haven't we? Me, trying to protect _you_, pulling you towards a new world... and you, desperately trying to keep me in the past. I don't know which of us will win, but frankly, I don't care- as long as we're both playing it."

Lou froze for a few seconds before standing up.

"So you want me to be free and do what I want... even if it's against you... as long as I remain with you?"

Light nodded, the smile still on his lips, and his dark eyes gleaming with so many emotions it made Lou's head spin.

Then, he walked out, and she stared at the floor.

Didn't he care whether she'd go report to Near? Didn't he care about anything? Light really was insane, wasn't he?

* * *

><p>"What the hell happened last night, Lou?", Kiyomi crossed her arms on her chest.<p>

They were walking through a corridor, Kiyomi's four bodyguards behind them. Lou took a deep breath, remembering what she'd established.

"I know some things about Light... because I've known him for a very long time", she said, making her words meaningful. Kiyomi nodded, understanding the message behing them. _I know Light is Kira, and I've known about that for a very long time. _"When I saw you with him last night, I honestly panicked. I was so worried about you... I'm very sorry", she stopped and bowed her head, joining her hands.

Kiyomi swallowed.

"I tried looking for you, but you were gone."

"I got in a fight with him and told him some bad things, but he just yelled back and said that Kiyomi- he said that you...", Lou paused, hating herself for lying, Lou _never ever ever lied_, "...he said you were his friend too."_  
><em>

_Friend_ was the keyword. Lou knew just as well as Light what words worked on women and in what way; how _fate _got them all excited and _friend_... well, not so much.

_This is necessary, _Lou convinced herself, _Kiyomi can't love Light, it's too dangerous. She can't... She just can't... No, I'm not doing this for myself. I'm doing this for her._

* * *

><p>"Friend, huh?", Kiyomi's eyebrow twitched, and although Lou was in a sad and angsty mood, she silently congratulated herself on that. Then, she put on her straight face again and nodded. "I see. Well, Light a special man. One of a kind, I'd say. Have you ever... shared that uniqueness?"<p>

Lou blinked, thinking about an answer. A special man... that was surely a reference to Kira. Shared his uniqueness, shared his _power_, that meant Kiyomi was asking about the Death Note.

"No, that'd be impossible for me", she replied with a laugh, but the only word that really mattered in this sentence was the 'no' in the beginning.

"Hm, then perhaps you're not that special."

Lou flinched, hearing this from her best friend's lips. She saw something like _pure fury _flicker through Kiyomi; then, it was gone. Lou decided it had been nothing, but, being the person that she was, she could already feel a bundle of worry and nerves forming in her stomach. She always saw a deeper meaning in everything, and, what was even worse, she was often right about it.

Something was wrong with Kiyomi. And, unlike with Light, Lou didn't know if she could fix it.

At this point, there was one more person she desperately wanted to talk to and get to know.

Teru Mikami.

* * *

><em>You may also write the cause andor details of death prior to filling in the name of the individual. Be sure to insert the name in front of the written cause of death. You have about 19 days according to the human calendar in order to fill in a name._


	25. Chapter 25

_Sup._

* * *

><p>First of all, Lou wanted to figure out how she could speedily contact Light. <em>I want to be able to meet him on my own rules, <em>she thought, _and this time do something else than what we did... last time. _Second of all, she wanted to talk to Teru Mikami and get to know him, get to understand him. She was just like that.

"Kiyomi", Lou sat down on the floor in the restroom and pulled her knees to her chest.

Kiyomi looked down at her and crossed her slender arms on her chest.

"I really love you.", she said. "You're my best friend."

"That's sudden", the woman raised an eyebrow, crouching down in front of Lou and tilting her head to the side. "Are you okay?"

"I want to talk to Teru.", Lou replied immediately, in a hushed voice. "Do you have any means of contacting him?"

"Whoa, Lou, slow down", Kiyomi shook her head. She had very beautiful, black hair. "You're the Blessed. I don't think you should be walking about and talking to random prosecutors"

The brown-haired girl closed her eyes with a sigh. She was still feeling guilty about lying to Kiyomi, and additionally, _stealing _Light from her. Even though she knew him first. Just pointing it out here.

"I'll hide my hair and wear sunglasses, and besides, people don't know my face that well.", she said with a shrug, looking away. She knew her plan was plain stupid.

"Listen...", Kiyomi lowered her voice. "Mikami isn't like me. He's a fanatic, from what I suspect. And besides, what would it gain you?

"I just want it."

"Lou, no. I'm sorry, but that's just something I won't do."

Lou stood up, realising things had just changed. Kiyomi had changed. This was it - this was Light, _Kira, _taking yet another poor soul under his wing. Kiyomi had been a lot smarter when she was younger. Lou felt sorry for her, but... _I apologize, Kiyomi. You're not the one I'm going to save._

She left the bathroom and went away, left the NHN. Being the Blessed, she thought someone would bother her - but oddly, they didn't.

It was noon. Her phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hello."

She stopped in her tracks. She knew that synthetic voice; it could only be one.

"This is Near.", the voice said, stating the obvious. "Is there a second Kira?"

"What am I, your oracle?", Lou pursed her lips. "Get your shit together, kid. Figure it out by yourself."

"So you confirm it?"

Lou stayed silent.

"Thanks.", the voice said.

Yes, she'd just revealed Mikami to him - she'd done it. Bravo. Staring at her feet, she stood in the middle of the sidewalk. What had that taken? A minute? Less. Thirty seconds of conversation, in which she revealed what could be one of the biggest secrets Light had.

After a few moments of pain, something changed inside of her. She remembered the look in his eyes; and she remembered how he made it seem like he_knew _she was too weak to fight against him. Like he knew she loved him far too much.

_But, Light, you've made a mistake. A miscalculation. You love me - and I'm not going to be a good girl. I told you I'd fight against you. You love me, and it blinds you._

She almost burst out laughing, realising how _harmless _he actually was when it came to her. Hadn't he _killed _others just to save _her? _His own followers? Lou bled inside for their deaths, but that didn't change the fact they were proof of his affection. Hadn't he stumbled on words and let his voice shake, hadn't he proclaimed her his _goddess_?

Lou was powerful. She only just realised that.

* * *

><p>"And to that I say, <em>kill me! <em>I don't worship you, nor do I blindly follow you!"

Lou shouted into the microphone. Stared deep into the camera.

"This is a _dare_, Kira!"

She was so sure she felt like laughing. Like laughing out loud. This was insane. Was she going insane? Perhaps. This madness, this rush, it felt incredible. This power!

She laughed.

"You know my name. In... in the one and final truth, it's _Lou Robins_. You know who I am now, Kira! Kill me on the spot!"

She laughed at the terrified faces surrounding her. They were so scared! It was pathetic and Lou was tired of it. And she knew. Nothing happened to her - she stood safely, heart beating fast in her chest.

"You can't, can you? It's not because you don't have the means. You just _can't_."

* * *

><p>Light stared at the hotel screen with his fingers in his hair, teeth clenched, hot tears of pure fury running down his face.<p>

"What the _fuck _are you doing, Lou?!", he screamed at the television. "Why?!"

In all honesty, he'd thought it was perfect. He'd thought he'd fixed it, and for minutes, just minutes, he felt like something inside of him was being mended. Or maybe... maybe rather, gently uncovered. And now Lou was done gently uncovering; she was tearing his mask off with all force, ripping it to shreds, showing the raw humanity underneath. And it hurt.

Light shook, more tears of helplessness streaming down his cheeks.

"And I told you you couldn't do it", Ryuk threw an apple in his mouth and smirked, hovering over him. "I told you years ago."

Light closed his eyes. He did it, back then. He did it. And now? Now, he couldn't even bring himself to pick up a pen, much less write that one name in it. His heart hurt.

"Why is this happening to me?", he growled, hiding his face between his shoulders.

Ryuk shrugged and gulped, swallowing his favoured fruit. He then wiped his lips off juice.

"Would you believe me if I said karma?"

* * *

><p><em>Even if you do not actually possess the Death Note, the effect will be the same if you can recognize the person and hisher name to place in the blank._

* * *

><p><em>AN: Apologies, of course, for not updating in over half a year. Or so. Did you know our fanfiction is 2nd most popular out of a total of six Light x OCs?<em>

_Thank you for that. Thanks for seventy-two people who remain deaf to my pleas for their opinons. I cherish you all._

_Sorry the chapter is shorter than usual, it's late and I have a lot of things on my mind right now._


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